Dating Rules for Teens

Dear Bro Jo -

My high school age son loves your blog! I heard somewhere that you have a list of dating rules for teens, will you post that here please?

- Bozeman Mom



Dear Mom -

I'll do more than that: I'll list the rules here but I'll also post them permanently on the side.

For the most part we follow the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet from the Church at the Johnston home, but we've added some specifics. The list changes as we (and our children) gain in experience.

- Bro Jo


Johnston Family Dating Rules (for Teens)

General

• Date in groups of 2 or more couples minimum, 3 or more couples is recommended
• Pick Up boys first, then girls; drop off girls first, then boys
• Be clean - literally and spiritually
• Plan must be pre-approved by the Parental Committee
• Borrow a Cell Phone from Parental Committee - for emergency use only
• Only date people Mama and Papa have met (a pre-date meeting may be needed)
• Don't flirt with another person's date - you can go out with them next time - focus on the person you're with
• Remember why you're dating: to get to know someone better, to discover what type of person you like to spend time with, and to practice this important social skill
• First Date is with Opposite Sex parent - prove that you're ready
• Keep the conversation going - spend more time asking questions than talking about yourself
• Focus on your companion - DO NOT TEXT YOUR FRIENDS WHILE OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE - it's rude and, well . . . lame
• No dating the same person twice in a row

Boys

• Home by 11:30pm
• Plan / Pick up / Pay
• Plan communicated to date - no surprises!
• Sisters deserve to go out with decent guys regularly, be one of those guys
• Chivalry isn't dead - show respect by opening doors
• It's scary to call, get over it (practice), it's your job to phone
• Be prepared Boy Scout: make sure the car is clean and has gas, be familiar with where you're going, have enough dough
• Keep dates simple and not too long
• No gifts (keep it casual)
• Meet the parents
• Minimum of one date per month

Girls

• Home by 11pm
• Know what's planned - and pre-communicate that plan to your parents
• Dress Modestly
• Teach your date that you deserve to be respected (make him open doors and insist that he use proper language)
• Don't call boys - make them call you (this is a respect tool)

Exceptions

• Formal Dates (like dances) can extend the curfew 30 minutes
• Flowers may be an appropriate "gift" for formal occassions

Rules for Parents

• Set the Example (married parents should be dating weekly)
• Know your kids' friends, their dates and potential dates
• Communicate Expectations
• Help to Plan Ahead - especially in the beginning
• Discuss the Plan - offer council when asked, but don't take control
• Review the Rules
• Pray
• Don't Spy (if it's your date night too, go somewhere else - and get home before your teen)
• Wait Up - near the door, not in your bedroom
• Debrief - Discuss the date with your teen when they come home, before everyone goes to bed
• Be positive and encouraging
• Don't "arrange" dates for your kids with other parents - if the kids find out it'll be bad