Getting a Boy to Notice

Dear Bro Jo,

I'm in the 6th grade; how can I get this boy I like to notice me?

- In Love in The Heights



Dear Heights,

(Sigh. Readers can you hear Bro Jo's hair getting grayer from where you are?)

First of all, let me assure you that if what you really want is for him to notice you, if you've ever been in the same room, he noticed. Trust me.

Whether he "likes" you or not, he noticed. He's a guy. You're a girl. That's pretty much all it takes.

Now, if you're asking something else, as your signature implies, I'm not going to help you too much. If you're having fantasies of this boy professing his undying love for you while he stands below your balcony under the moonlight Juliet, you need to know that it ain't gonna happen. Even if he is madly in love with you, which, lets face it, at any age the emphasis would have to be on "madly" as opposed to "in love", most guys aren't that romantic, especially in the 6th grade. Put it out of your head!
What I will tell you is this: it's perfectly OK for you to have this crush, but don't expect boys your age to acknowledge the same types of feelings, most won't (and you may want to steer clear of those that do).


More to your question, here's a list of things you should and shouldn't do:

  DO talk to him. Say hello. Ask about things he likes and dislikes. Keep the conversations casual.

  DON'T profess your feelings. That'll either freak him out or elicit a response neither of you are really ready for. Play it cool.

  DO dress nice around him. Wear good clothes (not torn or with holes) that are clean.

  DON'T over dress or dress immodestly. You could definitely get his attention by dressing slutty, but believe me it's not the kind of attention you want; dress cheap and he'll think you're easy, dress nice and he'll think you're pretty. See the difference? No Church Dresses at school (unless it's appropriate, like for a concert or play or something like that).

  DON'T be overly giggly, gossipy or dumb. The giggles will make him uncomfortable (or annoyed), the gossip will make him not trust you (and you want him to be comfortable talking to you), and the dumbness is, well . . . irritating.

  DO act mature and smart; he'll respect that.

  DON'T hang out together. Being alone is like being on a date, and it's WAY TOO EARLY.

  DO socialize in groups. Try Movie Parties (PARENTS MUST BE CHAPERONS!), gatherings of a bunch of friends in the park, and YM/YW Activities.


Be friendly (which doesn't mean "affectionate" - if you need to, look that word up) but not "best buds"; the only BFF you should ever have that's of the opposite sex is a spouse.

- Bro Jo