Respect Yourself

Dear Bro Jo,

I'm seventeen, and never been out on a date. I don't think I'm totally horrifying but I'm not a Carmen Electra. I haven't really turned down anyone, I've just never been asked out on a date, just to be a girlfriend. But anytime I'm a girlfriend I find a relationship terribly overrated, I'd rather just date. But now I'm starting college at BYUH and I have no dating experience under my belt. What do I do? How can I just date? And how do I play it cool with those college boys with all their charm?

-Totally clueless.


Dear Clueless,

OK. We need to talk. If you’re agreeing to be a “girlfriend” for a guy who’s never taken you on a date, you need to make a SERIOUS adjustment in your thinking; you’re doing all of this backwards.

If a guy says “hey, will you be my girlfriend?” your response should be “are you asking me out?”
When he says “yes”, ask him what the Plan for the date is; if he says “no” you say “why would I be the girlfriend of a boy who doesn’t care enough about me to take me out?”

AND WALK AWAY.

Look, you Sisters are killing this whole dating thing for yourselves and for each other. Why would a guy bother to buy you dinner, to take you to a movie, to show you some small level of respect when you don’t respect yourself enough to be treated well?

You don’t need to worry about the Charming guys at BYU-H, you need to worry about the lazy, cheap, do nothing guys that expect you to come over, make them cookies, watch them play video games, and then make out with them once their friends have gone home.

At that point a girl isn’t even a girlfriend; she’s pathetic.

You want dates? Start acting like you deserve to be dated!

No more Hanging Out. No more being a pal.

Clearly guys are interested in you; now it’s time to add a little Self Worth into the mix. You need to understand that up until this moment guys haven’t dated you because they don’t have to.

Here’s one quick tool for you to use: go up to a guy that you think is a Good Guy (very important to pick a GOOD GUY) and say “Hey, when are you going to finally ask me out on a date?”

It’s one of the best lines; I guarantee its success.

There’s a lot more you can do. I’ve written several letters on getting a date. Search the archives and read them. Memorize them. Make them a part of you.

- Bro Jo

PS: Carmen Electra?? Really? Is that who boys your age are excited about???

Can we raise the bar a little higher? (Isn’t Carmen Electra 45, and more than just a little artificial?)