Dating While Waiting

Dear Bro Jo,

I finally asked out this girl and she said yes, when we started to plan when we would go on the date it turned out that her schedule was full for the next few months and we couldn't go out for a while. During this time I met another girl that I had thought of asking out. Would it be right of me to ask out the new girl while I wait for the first girl's schedule to clear?

Brother confused.


Dear Brother,

Yeah, you can take out the other girl! You can take out any girl you want, and you should.

However, if you don’t want to hurt the feelings of the First Girl, you should talk to her first. I can’t promise that she won’t Be Hurt, but the Good Guy thing to do is to at least have the conversation.

Just say “Hey, I still want to take you out, but since we’re not seeing each other exclusively (and if you’re pre-RM, you shouldn’t be seeing Anyone Exclusively) I wanted to be upfront and let you know that I am going to go on other dates. Once your schedule clears, let me know, I’d love to set something up”.

The result may be that now she never wants to go out with you, and you may find that she changed her mind and never Really wanted to go out with you in the first place; if either of those is the case, you’re better off moving on.

If she understands, then you’ve picked a good potential date indeed.

It’s true that “Love is Worth Waiting for”, but it’s also true that you shouldn’t sit around doing nothing waiting for something that may or may not ever happen.

- Bro Jo