Pondering Priest - Letter 1 - The Exclusivity Conundrum

Dear Bro. Jo,

I’m not sure if you got my earlier messages because I was using a Linux mail client, but I was wondering if I could have some form of confirmation that they've arrived. Now I understand that you probably get tons of emails on a daily basis. I don't know if you just didn't have time to respond to mine or if they just didn't arrive. If you get this could you in some way let me know what's up that would be greatly appreciated.

- Pondering Priest


PP,

I'm sorry; I haven't received any other emails from you. What can I do for you?

- Bro Jo



I'll just resend them, here:

Dear Bro. Jo,

I'm sixteen years old and turning seventeen at the end of August. There is this girl in my ward that I've known my whole life and that I've had a crush on for most of it. This spring I asked her to prom because her date flaked out. Since prom we've been on one or two dates but I haven't really gone out with other girls at all. (I know I should though)

Now, I've read your Dating Rules for teens and I totally agree with them, but at the same time I really like this girl and I just can't really see myself asking another girl out. On top of that my family (we are all LDS) keeps talking about "getting a girlfriend" and saying things that have to do with BF/GF relationships and not much about dating other girls. I don't know if that's on purpose or what.

I'll admit that I've had some problems in the past with not wanting to go to church and pirating music and movies and stuff but I am really trying to turn around. I guess you could say that my ultimate goal is to be perfect. Even if it's not possible I'm going to do my best.

This girl wants to be with me exclusively and I have to say I want to be with her. But at the same time we are both trying to keep the commandments, I've made it the entire purpose of everything i do. I've prayed about it and I've been told to go to someone who knows what
they're doing and, lo and behold, the next day i found your advice column. Any help you can give would be greatly appreciated.

~~Pondering Priest

P.S. Sorry it's not exactly in the form of a question.


Dear Bro Jo

This is pondering priest again. I remembered that I hadn't told you that this girl and I message and talk to each other all day long.

~~P.P.


Great letter, PP! Thanks for sending it again.

I'm sure you're not alone in this challenge (and it's OK that it's not exactly a question)

Fill in some blanks, if you will, please.

Who in your family is pressuring you to have a girlfriend, and why do you think they're doing that?

Why do you think we old people advise young people to mix it up? Why are we telling you, even if you may have (at this young age and early stage) found "the one" (which I do believe is possible, by the way), to date other girls and keep from getting too serious?


- Bro Jo