Don't Ask Him Out!

Dear Bro Jo,

I'm a 16 year old Jr. in High school. My best friend is a guy and recently I got a Huge crush on him. I haven't gone on a date yet and would really like to. I want to ask my friend out but I don’t' think he likes me that way but he gives me mixed signals. He's really popular and lots of girls like him. Should I risk our close relationship by asking him out, or should I just continue being a really good friend to him?

Thanks,

~Confused Girl



Dear Confused,

Don't ask him out!

Once you do you'll lose any power you have in the situation, you may turn him off (even if he likes being pursued for a little while, that will fade) and you will probably wreck the whole thing (guys, at least we manly types, find that horribly emasculating; it's as if you're saying "since you're too much of a wuss to do what needs to be done here, let me do it for you).

There are exceptions, such as Girl-ask-Guy dances, but your best bet is to get him to ask you out on at least one date before you reciprocate.

Let me interject here that you need to be Casual Group Dating, not pinning down a boyfriend, ESPECIALLY if you're entertaining the thought that somewhere down the road, say . . . post mission, you may want this to grow into something Eternal. (I'm not naive; I'm sure that's crossed your mind.)

So . . . the next question is "how do we get him to ask you out"?

Check out "Bro Jo's HOW a GIRL CAN GET a GUY'S ATTENTION"  and "Bro Jo's HOW a GIRL CAN GET a GUY to ASK HER on a DATE".

(While you're at it, review "Bro Jo's DATING RULES for TEENS" )

And, if he doesn't get it, you may need to employ "Bro Jo's TEN WAYS a GIRL CAN GET a GUY to CALL".

If he still isn't smart enough to ask you out, won't take the hints, or just is too afraid, just keep being nice. Not his best friend (you don’t want to get caught there), but nice.

And a little flirty.

Not too flirty.

But a little.

Sister Jo will tell you there's a lot of power in playing "slightly hard to get".

Worked on me.

- Bro Jo