Enjoy the Flattery

Dear Brother Jo,

I have recently been reading all of your stuff (notes, blogs etc.) and I have found that I really like what you do, and the great advice that you give to LDS teens like me. So to start off, thanks! But as I was reading your stuff, I never thought I would have a cause to contact you until now.

I'm a 17 year old girl, I've never dated or anything and I've been having what one would call 'boy problems' recently. The boy in question is 16, exactly one year younger than me. We used to be in the same ward, but I moved out almost 4 years ago.

We were well acquainted back then, and because of the age distance (we were quite young back then) I have never been romantically interested in him. About 2 months ago we started talking online. Pretty much every time I went online he would talk to me, and I thought nothing of it, until recently he pulled a joke about us going out in a public forum.

My friend (who is a girl) decided to pull a joke back, and tell him that she was my boyfriend. His reaction to that is that he had a girlfriend. I then told him that I didn't actually have a boyfriend, and that it was my friend just pulling a prank. But I was curious and therefore I asked him who his girlfriend is.

Long story short, I found out that he doesn't have one, and he said that because he was being defensive and that he likes me, and also huge crush on me about 4 years ago, and has liked me ever since. And when he went offline, he signed the conversation with hugs and kisses. The problem with this is that I don't actually like him, and I don't know why. I don't know if I should tell him that I don't like him, and this is why I have decided to ask for your advice.

Thanks in advance,

Uncertain


Dear Uncertain,

Thank you.

If this boy set up a Casual Group Date, and asked, would you go?

Unless he scares you (seriously), your answer should be "yes". Casual Group Dating isn't about liking someone or getting a boyfriend, its about having fun, practicing some important social skills, and getting to know people better. A girl should never turn down a non-scary guy for a date unless she's old enough to have a commitment to someone (which you're not), or has a previously scheduled conflict (in which case her response should be "I'm sorry, I've got a previous commitment, but I'm available on this other date").

Which leads us to: no, you shouldn't say anything. It's OK, and should be flattering, for people to like you. It's not like either of you are marrying age . . .

Enjoy the flattery.

- Bro Jo