A Mess of Friends

Hey Bro Jo,

The thought just occurred to me that of course, Bro Jo is always right.. Men and Women really can't be close friends without some kind of attachment or feelings for the other. Not gonna lie, I definitely doubted it for a while, but it seems so obvious now.. Whether both sides are feeling the same thing or not there's still that attachment that pops up. Just thought I’d point that out, not that you didn't already know that you were right. That being said, I have a question about it, I guess I’ll give you some background information first though..

This guy and I are really good friends.. Him, Me, and our other friend are frequently together, going to my school's football games, hanging out doing whatever we think of, playing soccer, or just sitting somewhere and talking. We go to different schools, and different wards that meet in the same building, and we have joined seminary with their ward. To say the least we're around each other all the time and talk a lot even when we're not.. For the record, this would be the guy that I had mentioned in a past letter that you thought wanted to be more, when he was there for me after i had a rough time with the guy I liked at the time...Again, you were probably right.

Now to get more into the topic..We both had liked each other's best friend He liked my best friend and I liked his, we had both told each other and we talked about it sometimes.. Well, Now we both don't like them and we were recently talking about how being good friends with the one you like is never good, because when the other person found out they went on liking each other for a little while but then they end up not liking each other anymore and becoming more hostile to each other, where we all basically make fun of/ diss the one we used to like, even if its sometimes sarcastically. Since the hostility issue started both of our ex-crushes have made us slightly miserable because we can never get along with them anymore since they dish right at us with their latest comment. We continued to talk about that subject then he went into how we both weren't boy/girl crazy and it was pretty good since we had better control.

The problem i find is that we're both so worried/put down by our past crush that we may not ever own up to the fact that we like each other, that is if we did both happen to like each other, because we don't want it to end badly. I may be jumping ahead of the game as it is, since I don't even know if he actually likes me.. I guess ultimately my question is what can I do about it? Sorry if there's a lot of un-necessary stuff and this sounds kind of scatter brained... I'm just typing it as it comes to me. Everything seems more logical before it's actually written down.

Thanks for everything,

-Feelings Show <


Dear Feelings,

Whew! It took me a bit to sort through all that, but here's what I got:

You want to know if there's a way that you and a boy you like (who may or may not like you) can get over your last crushes not going well and somehow have something happen between the two of you; is that right?

The answer is . . .

yes.

They're called "Casual Group Dates". (Perhaps you've heard of them??? Say, in some guy's LDS Teen and YSA Dating and Relationship advice column?)

For now, continue being friendly, but stop worrying about getting a Boyfriend.

- Bro Jo

PS - Thanks for backing me up on the Guys and Girls as Friends thing and the kind words.