Getting Guys to Dance

Dear Bro Jo,

So, I'm 14 years old and I've been to like, 5 dances since I turned 14. My friend lives in another Stake than I do and she says that guys ask her to dance all the time, and it's rare that girls ask guys to dance in her Stake.

In my Stake, it seems like I do almost all the asking, and pretty much if I don't, then I don't dance that song. I don't really know whether guys ask other girls, or they ask them, but it seems like right when the song starts, everyone automatically pairs up. I'm not 'unattractive' in my point of view. I'm not stinky, I don't act weird, I dress with 'style'... I can't figure out why I'm not the one getting asked! Is there something I'm doing wrong? How can I get guys to ask ME, instead of me asking THEM?

-Confused



Dear Confused -

Yeah, what you're doing wrong is doing "almost all the asking" - knock it off! The wimpy guys in your Stake don't have to ask you to dance because you're making it too easy for them.

Talk to your Bishop, your Ward and Stake YM Presidents, and the fathers of the boys you like and tell all of them that you're disappointed that the boys in your Stake don't ask you to dance. It's the responsibility of those men to teach the boys to man-up, grow up, and (as we say in Montana) cowboy-up; the boys need to start acting like men.

If you don't get any support from those guys, if they try to turn things back on you ("if you want to dance, why don't you do the asking?") then you have them contact me for a good lecture on what it means to be a man.

Find out who the DJ is going to be (perhaps by getting yourself on the Stake Dance Committee) and tell them that you'd like this next dance to have lots of slow songs played, at least one every third song.

Then, as the next Stake Dance approaches, before the day of the dance, hint to a few boys you know that you'd like to dance with them. "Hey, if you're at Friday's dance you should make sure you ask me to dance with you".

And get all of your girl friends to do the same.

- Bro Jo