Big Brother to Little Brother

Dear Bro Jo,

I'm an 18 year old guy who's very close to leaving on a mission. My problem is (or at least was) this, I live in an area where the Mormon population is not very high, (we have no dating age young women in our branch) and if a guy was to ask a girl from school on a date the implication was that they were in a relationship. While this isn't entirely my problem anymore because I'm now focusing a lot on my mission, your advice will certainly give me insight as to how I can help my younger brothers who will inevitably be going through this very shortly. How would you suggest going about dating girls without repeating dates too frequently in an area where selection is limited?

- Future Missionary


Dear Future Missionary,

Thanks for the letter.

It's an ongoing, world-wide cultural problem, and if it's any consolation, I don't think it's any better in predominantly LDS areas either.

The deal is this: girls want boyfriends. Even Mormon girls.

OK, not all girls.

But most.

For many of them it's an external validation of their value and attractiveness, and that messed up notion is propagated by many of their parents (many parents of guys do it too). It's as if being in a relationship is somehow proof that they're popular and good-looking.

Which is, of course, not true.

Our Divine Nature and Individual Worth come from God, and is recognized from within.

But that's a difficult concept for many teens, and many of their parents, to understand.

So the first thing you can do for your brothers is to help them to understand that they are, as the song says, Children of God.

Then teach them why Young Men should Casual Group Date (social skill development, practice for when they're old enough to Serious Date, learning the value of putting someone else first, etc.); then teach them how to get a date (this is covered extensively in past columns and on our Facebook Fan Page).

Then testify to them that, especially if you're following the Casual Group Dating Rules, there's no need to limit your high school age dating to LDS girls. Tell them to broaden their circles, and have fun!

- Bro Jo