Monday, June 28, 2010

How Old is "Too Old"?

Dear Bro Jo,

The short version - Is there a point where someone is too old for you? I know you've had this conversation for teens, but what about us YSA?

By chance have you seen the "Twilight / Mormon Spoof"? Ok, well that pretty much sums it up (in a humorous way) except I'm 20, and I'll be finishing my Bachelors within the year. I've been lucky enough to date a lot of great and not so great guys over the years, and he rates very high in the ranking.

We both are at the same University (how we met) and our common friends think it is about time we got the picture. I guess my concern is the fact my parents will freak (they aren't thrilled that he likes me... not his fault). They want me to finish graduate school before I even think about dating someone seriously. I think I'd be wrong to give up a chance like this to date an amazing guy who I get along with, and if it doesn't work out in the end, well at least I won't have to wonder what-if. I'm sure my parent's won't be the only ones who have doubts... any suggestions on how to deal with it?

Am I crazy for trying?

Miss May


Dear Miss May,

Well I doubt you're crazy (although I might change my mind once I see the video).

:)

And I'd hardly call 20 "May", maybe mid-March, but not May . . .

You never mention just how old Mr. December is, but I'm inclined to say that you should always investigate the possibilities.

With respect to your parents, and the many others who agree with them, IMHO any woman that "puts off" Serious Dating for college, especially grad school is out of her gosh darn mind.

Look, sometimes it just works out that marriage doesn't happen until later in life (or not at all), but intentionally dodging potential Eternal Companions is just about the surest way to keep oneself out of the Sealing Room that I can think of.

Not to mention that it goes against everything that any Prophet of God has ever said on the subject.

Yes, I firmly believe in pursuing a higher education by men AND women IF they have the aptitude, desire and it fits within their career goals (it's too expensive otherwise) - have I mentioned that I teach at the local tech college? - but I don't think you pick it INSTEAD of a family.

I went back to school as a 27-year old with four children (OK, three children. The fourth was born in the middle of that.) It IS possible to do both.

But let's not jump the gun here: it sounds like you haven't even dated this guy yet, so for all we know it may not even work out.

But it might.

And you'll never know if you don't check it out.

Do you really want to look back, ten years from now, single, advanced degree in hand, and wonder "what if"?

As for how to deal with the negative comments of others . . .

Ignore them.

It's none of their darn business anyway.

Unless there's something more to this guy or this situation that you're not telling me (like he's a serial killer), I say date him.

- Bro Jo

No comments:

Post a Comment