Should She Take Him Back?

Dear Bro Jo,

I am 16 years old, and I'm in a situation that is REALLY hard to explain. I started dating this boy when I was 15 (I still hate myself for not waiting until I was 16) and we really clicked. We got really attached, and then he went off to college, broke up with me, broke my heart, and then got another girlfriend. He broke up with his last girlfriend recently, is back from college, and now he wants to date me again. I still love him (if what I'm feeling is love) but I don't want to break my heart again. Should I risk my heart again or should I wait to date him again until I graduate from high school?

~Confused Girl



Dear CG,

Well it's not hard to understand!

My guess (and it admittedly may not be more than that) is that what you're feeling is "security" (or perhaps "validation" . . . even "justification") more than it is "love".

He broke up with you. You were understandably very sad. On some level you're just hoping that if you take him back everything will be Dancing Trees and Singing Flowers again.

And then, after he's gotten what he wants from you he'll probably dump you again for the next something-better to come along.

How do I know?

Simple. Do the math.

You're in HIGH SCHOOL and he's in COLLEGE.

He's back for the summer . . . doesn't want to be lonely . . . and, let's face it, it's much easier to get the old girlfriend back than to find the new one. (Which is NOT to imply that you're "easy" - that's not what I mean - and I certainly hope you're not! - but it doesn't sound like you're requiring him to make much of an effort.)

Stick to Casual Group Dates with boys your own age. No more boyfriends until you're out of High School, and even then I'd think twice before dating Mr. "Hurt You Before" again.

Give yourself some credit.

Lots of fish in the sea.

- Bro Jo