When "Love" is Destructive

Dear Bro Jo,

First of all, thank you for reading this email and taking your time to respond.

Here's the situation: I am the Teacher's Quorum president, and it is my duty to ensure the active participation and welfare of all the teachers. I have a member in my quorum who we shall call bob.

Bob seems fairly active and happy, but his facebook status shows completely different things. He keeps putting his status as one of 2 things:

1) I'm so depressed to be kept away from her and I hate these restrictions I have, its my life

2) My parents are so stupid, they shouldn't decide my life for me.

The main reason for these sudden changes are that he has found himself a girlfriend. Its pretty obvious she is the problem because thats all he talks about (only on facebook though), and his girlfriends page, in the info section, says I have a wonderful boyfriend named Bob. I really want to help Bob through the times and just to get over it atleast until hes 16, but love is SO hard to argue with! Any suggestions about how to help him keep in the church? I'm very afraid that if I don't play my cards right, I may lose a valuable member of my quorum.

Thanks if you can help at all,

the TQP


Dear TQP -

Your best move is to be a sincere and not-too-judgmental friend. If he asks your opinion, then you can tell him how you feel in a kind way.

(Take a look at what Doctrine and Covenants Section 121 says about reproving with sharpness in a loving way.)

That said, if at any time you feel that his feelings transcend typical teen angst then you need to get someone else involved. As the Quorum President you should be having regular meetings with your Young Men's Leadership and should have a monthly meeting with your Bishop's Youth Council. Share your concerns with them.

They will be able to provide the specific training and council you need; not just for Bob, but they'll be able to help you deal with him as his Quorum Leader.

Don't argue - remember that no one can be contended into conversion - listen and be there to remind him of the Savior's Love when the time comes.

- Bro Jo


PS - Pray - pray - pray; don't forget that you've been blessed with the keys for those within your stewardship; ask the Lord to tell you what to do, and patiently listen for his will.