Is This Love?

Dear Bro Jo,

First let me just say, THANK YOU for all the advice you offer!!! Your an absolute life changer, your blunt and honest, and i just love reading what you have to say!

Alright so basic story.

I'm almost 16, so i'm pretty young. People say your too young to know what "love" is at my age. I've never dated (of course not i'm not the dating age yet!) but i feel like i very MUCH know what love is.

you see, there's this boy. I have NEVER told ANYBODY how i feel about him, but i absolutely ADORE him. I've known him for most of my life, in fact he's been like a brother to me since i could remember. He used to come over every day..until this last summer he moved. But he still comes to visit a lot and stays at my house and sleeps in the living room with my little brother.

At first we were friends, then enemies, then siblings, and now...well i am not sure. I've loved him since the "siblings" stage. But as a brother. Now i still love him, but it has transformed.

we always go to eachother for advice and tell eachother everything. Nothing is awkward for us we're so comfortable around eachother. I know absolutely EVERYTHING about him, his pet peeves, what he listens to on his ipod when he's sad, and how his hair gets frizzy if he blow dries it or doesn't wear a hat while it's drying.

I would give my life for him without a second thought. I HAVE broken my heart to make his happy. My favorite thing about me is that he knows my name (and no, my self esteem is NOT low). I feel like my purpose here on earth is to make him smile, a purpose i am very pleased with. Everywhere i turn something reminds me of him. If he cries, i cry too. if he smiles, so do i. I have and still do give up SO much just for him, and he doesn't even know it. I pray every night asking if he is the one. Every time i do i feel comforted inside, and then begin feeling excited.

So you tell me, is this love?

-anonymous



Dear Annie,

Sometime I'm going to have to count how many letters have the phrase "you see there's this boy . . ."

I think 15 is old enough to know what love is.

And I think you love him.

I DON'T think 15 is old enough to make any life-long commitments or decisions.

Sorry, just too many hormones and not enough life experience.

And, "no" I'm not saying you're hormonal . . . (at least not out loud . . .)

Maybe he'll make a good spouse for you . . . some day.

But there's no such thing as "THE one". There are many people you could be happily married to for Time and All Eternity. Trust me.

You're not even dating yet, so your experiences are by definition very limited. You both need to go on Many Many Casual Group Dates, following the dating rules (click HERE) and that means dating lots of different people, not just each other.

One last note: while I don't doubt that you love him, I do caution you that a lot of what you said could also be described as "comfort", as in "you feel comfortable around him". That's not bad, familiarity comes with time any way, but at 15 it can be misleading.

And it can lead to tempting situations where Satan can steer you away from some Good Goals.

- Bro Jo