In Bed with Your Phone Friend

Hi Brother Jo!

I was wondering if you could share some of your thoughts on what is an appropriate amount of time a boy and a girl at the ages of 16+ should/shouldn't be spent talking on the phone?

I have a real good friend who I talk to on the phone, or even just text now and then, because we live so far away from each other -- but I've been re-thinking this a little bit. In my mind, it'd be okay if our conversations didn't go on so far into the night. . .Even if it is really fun. I can't help but tell myself I need some self-control in this area. Thanks!:)

- Name Withheld


Dear NW,

I think calling after 9pm, unless it's an actual emergency (homework help might be, the latest teen drama is not), is rude.

On top of that there's this added element when it's a guy and a girl. What you're doing is "phone dating"; you have this pseudo-relationship that's safe because of the physical separation that the technology provides, but it's not really any safer. In fact, it can actually be much worse. You said so yourself: you can feel that it's wrong because of the hour. Here's a guideline: if it's too late to go out, it's too late to talk on the phone.

Texting is the same.

So is on-line chatting.

Get your homework done, spend time with your family.

Then go to bed. By yourself. Don't bring your phone-friend into bed with you.

(There's a really thin line just on the other side of what you're doing and it's pretty bad.)

Turn your phone off, hand it over to your parents, whatever it takes to break the habit.


- Bro Jo


Dear Bro Jo,

Holey Moley! That's an eye opener.

First off, I want to thank you for taking the time to answer my question: it has made me rethink some things and draw the line where it needs to be. I have yet to talk to my friend about this, but the late phone calls I've chosen not to answer have given me the opportunity to test just how I feel, as well as give the Spirit an opening to teach. I hadn't realized just how distracted I was!

Ah...I think it's safe to say that although I love talking to this close friend of mine every chance I get, having learned through this experience, I know Heavenly Father wants me to focus on bettering myself and strengthening my family to prepare for what lies ahead (whatever that may be). And he'll just have to understand.

Brother Johnston -- thanks again for your wisdom!

- Name Withheld