Friends and the Friendly

Dear Bro Jo,

I have just been reading your page on facebook about “Men and Women Can't Be Friends”. I have thought about this before and since I found your blog I decided it couldn’t hurt to ask about a hypothetical situation I had been thinking about. Say a guy and a girl date casually and become friends. They keep things casual for the guy who plans on going on a mission. Can’t they still be friends while still dating other people? Because if he’s staying worthy to get ready for a mission there is no need for steady dating but they might still want to be friends? I suppose I’m not explaining this very well but I had to ask...

That's question 1, the other question I had is about a friend of mine who is 15. He is in my ward and also goes to my school. At school he hangs out with a girl who is 17. The way they act together makes most people believe they are going out. But they both deny it. I've tried talking to him about it, but he just said that she was emotionally sick and that he was just helping her. He's not old enough to date and she's not a member but I decided to let it pass and just give him the benefit of the doubt, but everyone else I know still believes they act like they are going out and most of the time I do too, but I don't know if there is anything I can do... Do you have any suggestions?

Thanks,

Concerned


Dear Concerned,

Answer 1. They can be "friendly" and sure, on some level they're "friends", but they can't be "just close friends" and stay that way because A) he wouldn't be close friends with her unless he really liked her, and B) the attraction they have for each other becomes an issue once they date someone else seriously. (That's not a bad thing, by the way.)

Answer 2. My suggestion is "mind your own business". Unless either asks for your help, there's nothing you can, nor should, do. I agree, it sounds like there's something there, and I think (other than the obvious prurient benefits) a 15-year old boy should not have a girlfriend, especially an un-emotionally stable 17-year old. But he didn't ask you, and he didn't ask me, so we should stop being jealous and just but out.

- Bro Jo