Sparing His Feelings

Dear Bro Jo,

On a few separate occasions I've been asked on dates by boys. These are boys who aren't members and I know from school, but just not someone I'm interested in going on dates with. Even though they are nice enough, our standards are just way too different. So what I never know how to do is politely turn down a date with someone without hurting there feelings or destroying a friendship?

- Name Withheld


Dear NW,

A girl CAN NOT turn down a boy without hurting his feelings, regardless of what we guys may say.

As a guy you put yourself out there to make the invitation, and let's face it, rejection is rejection. Fortunately most guys recover quickly. It does help if you're polite, but be direct and honest, too, lest we make the mistake of asking you out a second time.

You do need to guard your reputation and uphold your standards, but if these boys were asking you to go on a Casual Group Date, and were going to follow The Rules, I hope you'd be a little more open. After all, you did say that they are nice . . .

Perhaps instead of saying no, you could find ways to say "yes" more often. Share "Bro Jo's Dating Rules for Teens" with them and see if their willingness to follow them doesn't make you more comfortable.

Oh, and for the record, any chance of "friendship", as in "close-buddy-pal" type friendship went out the door when he became old enough to realize that you're a girl.

Don't fret. It's a good thing.

- Bro Jo