Friendship and Church Activity

Dear Bro Jo,

Hi, I love your site!!!!

It has been sooo helpful to me, with regards to dating, I especially loved the good guy dilemma!!!!

When you read this you are probably going to think I am another 15 yr old whiney, judgmental girl which I probably am, but for me this is tough.

A bit of a background- 2 yrs old my mother left home, 6yrs old my older sister was like the mother I never had, 11 yrs old she left home with no explanation other than I’m getting married. okay your probably gonna thing that’s not all that unusual.

Now at age 15 I am homeschooled and questioning everything. In 2009 I decided I wanted to try going to school again, so I chose a school that a close friend from church goes to thinking the transition between going to school again wouldn't be soo dramatic, and it worked for the first week or so, and then she spoke to people from my old school and started spreading rumors about why I left my old school.

That wouldn't be so bad if I had gone to school before hand but I was home-schooled and it was tough. I left that school 1 month later. and now I barely go to church or activities. The only things I do are home-study seminary, FHE and join in family prayers. Not going to church started after I went on holiday with my family to Guernsey, channel islands. The branch there was amazing, the spirit and love within that tiny branch was stronger than in my ward of over 150 members.

I went to YW once after Guernsey and felt really strange as if I didn't belong there. I know that sounds really strange, but I haven't been since. My older sister fell away from the Church sooo many times and in the end tore my family and I apart. I really do not want to do that to my family, I want to be strong and go to church without feeling as if it’s a chore. Most people would go to their Bishop, YW leader or family, but with stuff going around my ward about my sister and things I don't feel I can trust my yw leader as she is close with my sister and anything I tell her generally gets back to my sister even if I tell her not to tell anyone especially her because I don't want anything to do with her.

I know I can trust my Bishop but I would just feel weird going to him with something like this. I can't go to my dad because he might think I am going down the same road as my sister, and I couldn't do that to him.

Have you got any advice on what to do??

Thank you,

Bookworm



Dear Bookworm,

Satan works very hard to keep us from having joy in our lives; when we have promptings to do good things, it's definitely in our best interest to follow them. You feel inspired to go talk to your bishop, and that's exactly what you should do. Don't hesitate, make the appointment today!

I'm sorry life has handed you such a raw deal so far, but I believe that the adversity that comes into our lives (not necessarily the trials we invite, but the stuff that just happens) not only can serve to make us stronger, it can strengthen our testimonies and help us to be closer to Christ.

Remember that not every day is going to be a great one, but that the bad ones will make the great ones seem that much better. School doesn't work this week? Someone at Church said or did something hurtful? Your family is struggling? Hang in there, it will get better. Maybe not right away, but it will. And in those moments when things seem darkest, remember that Christ suffered all things (ALL things); he knows our pain and sorrow personally. Because of that, we're never alone. He's always there, waiting to comfort and uplift us if we will but take upon us his name.

Do me a favor, would you? Go read the Sacrament Prayers (they're in both Moroni chapters 4 and 5 and Doctrine and Covenants 20). The promise that we're given, to always have his spirit to be with us, is something that everyone, including you and I, is entitled to. Use that to make new friends, good friends. They're hard to find sometimes, but as President Hinckley said, very valuable. Who knows, you might find that there's another young person in your ward who feels just as alone as you do, and maybe needs a friend even more.

But start with your Bishop, if for no other reason than it being nice to talk to an adult, especially one who can help you reconnect with the Savior and get on the right path.

- Bro Jo


Bro Jo,

Thank you soo much for replying soo quickly!!!

The advice was brilliant- I’m not too sure about going to my bishop simply because I don't think it that important. well not enough to bother him with anyway. I read the sacrament prayers and for once actually really understood them!!! thank you sooo much, I really need those words last night.

Another quick thing is my father and I spoke last night and he said to get a pen pal like in America who is also a member of church??? but I don't know anyone in America apart from past missionaries.

Have you got any other ideas as to what I could do????

Thank you soo much for you help,

Bookworm



Dear Bookworm,

Let your Bishop worry about whether or not you're a bother.

I'm glad you enjoyed the scriptures! Read a little bit in them every day; I promise life will look better.

I've been thinking about finding some way for our Facebook fans to connect. Some have on their own, but I don't have anything set up to help them connect, other than commenting on each other's posts and then perhaps that leading to chatting and then to writing each other. "Dear Bro Jo" is not, nor will it ever be, an on-line dating site. But maybe there's a way for people to connect and make new friends . . .

- Bro Jo


Dear Bro Jo,

Thank you so much for all your help!

The Bookworm



Dear Bookworm,

Anytime!

- Bro Jo