How to deal with guys staring at your chest

Hello,

I have this problem with boys, I am 14 and I have a very large chest. It comes from my moms side of the family. Anyway I know I am not at the age to date anyone but it worries me that whenever I talk to a guy he doesn't look at my face, he looks at my chest. I have started to become extremely self conscience and wear clothes that hide my figure. How can I overcome this? And how do I know when a guy only like me because of my assets?

Thank you for the help

Name Withheld



Dear NW,

Boys like . . . boobs. I'm sorry. Sister Jo has asked me to explain it for years and the best I can come up with is that we're fascinated by them because we don't have them and a girl's shapeliness signals her womanhood. That's not fair, it's totally superficial, and (to be honest) it's kind of sad. It's undoubtedly made worse by the images we see every day in various media, but some of it is also hardwired; guy are supposed to like girls, and, especially when you're a young guy, nothing is so obviously girlie than . . . well, girlie parts. And it's worse at your age because, well . . . all of your . . . girlie-ness is new. We all start off shaped pretty much the same, and then one day a guy looks around and realizes that the girls at school are, well . . . girls.

On behalf of men and boys everywhere, I apologize.

(Sister Jo Interjection: "Girls, breast enhancement surgery can mess up many things. Don't even think about it. Artificial inflation is not the right way to get attention from guys.")

Your body has been given to you by Heavenly Father; each of us will have trials when it comes to this. I know this may sound like a cop-out, but as you get older you'll find more mature guys who will like you for you, not just what you look like. That's not to say that there won't always be gawkers and idiots, but there will also be good, decent guys, too.

You can dress down to deemphasize your chest, being very careful to minimize the cleavage, but Sister Jo says that it's also important to accept and be proud of who you are. Don't draw inappropriate attention to yourself; don't use your figure to be immodest but, particularly when you're a little older, don't deny that you're a girl, either, by dressing like a box. As long as you're sufficiently modest, this is their problem, not your problem. Be proud to be a girl!

You'll know when a guy likes you for more than your mammaries when he looks in your eyes when speaking to you (as you've already noticed).

In the mean time, dress modestly, and if they still stare, call them on it. "I'm up here, Captain Wanderlust" is a great line, but be careful, it may make things worse depending on your comfort zone and to whom you're speaking.


- Bro Jo