Friend is Sneaking Out

Dear Bro Jo,


I saw an ad for your blog site on Facebook, and it interested me so I clicked on it. After reading a few of the letters others have sent you, I decided to ask some advice of you. I have this friend who is 15 and is in 'love', so to speak. She does things with this 'lover' without her parent’s knowledge. I love her deeply, and would like help her in any way possible. Of course I realize that one cannot help one who doesn't want it, but it would make me very happy to see her do the right thing. Her 'lover' is also a good friend of mine, and I'd like to help them both. I'd appreciate any advice you might be willing to offer. Thank you, An Advice Seeker


- An Advice Seeker


Dear Advice Seeker,


What kind of things are these two kids doing? In what way do you want to help them?


- Bro Jo


Dear Bro Jo,


Mostly just going out late at night... In a way that will make them want to do the right thing.


What's your relationship with them? Are you the same age? Are they sneaking out? Do their parents know where they are and what they're doing? Are they just spending time together or is there some physical stuff going on?


The girl is my cousin, and a good friend. We've grown up together as best friends. The boy's family is friends with our family; we've known them for a couple of year now. Yes, we are close to the same age. No, her parents don't know where she is, they're sneaking out at night, in that case they don't know what she's doing.


Got it. The information helps a lot, believe it or not.


As her cousin and good friend I think you need to talk to her. Tell her you're worried about what she's doing, and you're afraid she could get into a lot of trouble. If she agrees and sees the wisdom in cooling things off, then you're okay. If she resists, which is what I expect her to do, and if she refuses to get it together, as one who loves her you'll need to talk to her parents. You don't want to betray a trust, but sneaking out at night with a boyfriend is apt to bring lots of trouble and regrets into her young life. Go to your aunt in confidence and give her enough information so that she can protect her daughter.


Your cousin will be mad, but sometimes being our brother's keeper means losing a friendship . .  in the short-term.  In the long term I think she'll come to appreciate your help.


- Bro Jo


Thank you so much for your advice, your help. I think I can get things worked out so that maybe we can all feel better. Thanks again, and keep up the good work! :)


- Advice Seeker


Thank you. I hope it helps.


- Bro Jo