Why Can't We Be Friends?

Dear Bro Jo,

I recently moved to (location withheld) at the start of the year.

The first week I was here I met this girl and asked her out on a date, she accepted and but we never went on that date to due time issues we began to spend time with each other twice to three times a week, the third week I felt this prompting to not ask her out for a time, I told her this and she smiled and thanked me telling me that she would later tell me why God told me this.

I never asked her out again but began to hang out, not dating, when I date I say its a date, I find myself pretty clear in those manners. But as time continued we began to spend more and more time together, about almost two weeks ago she asked me if we could talk and as we did she told me that at the start of January God told her that she was suppose to "enter into the covenant" with this Boy she knew, and was in a relationship with him for a weeks now.

At first I was a little hurt but glad she felt "he" was the one, I really thought I could continue to friends.

We hung out in the same group, texted each other during the day (and sometimes during the night). I prayed and asked God to help me take away my feelings for her and it started to work but as we started spending more time with each other (usually in a group) . . .

I didn't realize until last night while she was with her boyfriend how much I liked her.

I met him last Sunday and thought he was the nicest guy ever, but I will admit It made me uncomfortable to see him cuddle her so much. I really want to be friends and not have these feelings but I'm afraid I need to spend less time with her and the group I created to do so.

I haven't made any moves and I'm not the kinda jerk that would try to tear up a relationship, I just want to be friends and at the same time not have feelings for her. Please let me know if you have any suggestions and if you post this editing might be needed....

Thank you for your time and love you share,

Broken



Dear Broken,

How old are you?

- Bro Jo



Dear Bro Jo,

I'm 22 and have been home from my mission since last April.

I keep strong to the dating rules have had only one serious girlfriend since then who broke up with me on Christmas because we were going to different states.

I am 100 percent honorable to women and never seek to take advantage of them.

(Thought extra info would help.)

Also she's 18 and lives down the hall from me in the apartment complex I live in.

- Broken



Dear Broken,

What you have discovered my friend is exactly why "Men Can't Stay 'Just Close Friends' with Women".

And, let's face it, if you were the other guy and knew that someone had the same feelings for your girlfriend that you have for this girl, you wouldn't want him spending lots of time with her, either.

Now, you can fight for her if you want, but unless her feelings for this other guy change it's a fight you'll lose.

You could hang around waiting for them to break up, perhaps facilitating in the demise of their relationship, but then you'll always be wondering about "what if" some other guy does the same thing to you.

You could wallow and wait, which will get you nowhere with her (this path is incredibly off-putting and pathetic) and nowhere for yourself.

Or you could shake it off and get out there and date some other women, women that are actually interested in you.

That's the one I'd pick.

You're a Good Guy with lots to offer; let this one on go and go get yourself another one. Nothing gets a guy over the last girl quite as well as the next girl.

- Bro Jo