Dear Bro Jo,
this may be more than one question,.. (sorry) but here it goes
I’m 14, I’m going to my first stake dance. I met this boy..He had tons in common with me and basically we just hit it off...we weren’t dating at all..(cause we were 14) but we liked each other and by the end of the night that was established. we talked for the next 2 years, saw whenever we could...at 14 it was just getting to know each other but by the time we were 15 1/2 ish it became flirty and we planned for when we were 16.
Now throughout this time I found out he liked other people and of course was kinda sad,...but we both kind of flirted with other people,...just there was a common understanding we liked each other. Now this all worked fine, we were planning out our first dates and I was happy as a clam, Until a stake activity (16). He completely ignore me and such. He was all over another girl, and by this point it had gone to "saying" we loved each other.. (RED FLAG...stupid) so than turns out he didn’t want to date at all...he didn’t want a relationship at all..."with anyone" (but I knew the girl he was flirting with and haha that’s not what he said to her (15) so I called him out...he said sorry and we ended up going on the date we planned...I hadn’t herd from him in a while and we were going to go to a carnival for the date.
Carnival came around and he texts me saying "hi do you still want to go". I said yes, (hoping to be able to talk about what happened) and once we got there he was JUST (if not more) flirty as ever...holding my hand, cuddling, exact. and this was right after HE told me get didn’t want a relationship.
So what this comes down to,...is we have both moved on Sorta...I want to be friends but it’s not awkward for me but it’s like he tries to pretend I’m not alive or important. he goes so far to distract our friends (yes,...through this time we became great friends and our circles melded...so see him about twice a week) how do I stay nice to him, be friends and not have him run away?!? why is he doing that?!?
sKater girl-
Dear Skater,
If you question is "why is he running away?", the answer is "because he doesn't want to be your boyfriend".
That doesn't mean you don't have value, aren't pretty, or aren't wonderful; I'm sure you're all of those things (boys, boyfriends, guys and men do not define the value of a girl; God does).
Save yourself some drama and heartache over the next couple years: go on Casual Group Dates and stop focusing on having a boyfriend.
I know you young sisters don’t believe me, and I’m sorry it’s become such a huge part of our culture, but your value and attractiveness don’t come from having a boyfriend (regardless of what the other girls think, how they feel, or what they say); your Divine Nature and Individual Worth come from God.
- Bro Jo
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