Slow Down and Enjoy the Journey

Hey Bro Jo!

So basically. I am a convert to the Church. Which is like way cool and I love it. And when I first started taking the discussions I had this missionary named Elder (withheld). He got transferred and then went home like 6 weeks after that and I didn't even start talking to him again until after my baptism. But, since then we have been talking quite a lot. And we have talked about a lot of stuff. We have talked about marriage and kind of what we want and are looking for. And we have talked about children and how many we want and why and a lot of other like really important things.

But here is the thing. I graduate high school in a few weeks. And he has already been home from his mission for almost a year and a half. And since President Monson like was getting on the RM's to get married, I am not sure what to do.

I have told him that I liked him but we have not really talked about it yet. So should I just wait and see what happens when I get down to BYU in the fall or should I try and move things along now.

Oh, and we live like 12 hours away from each other. If that makes any difference.

Sincerely,

A Confused New Sister.




Dear Sister,

Let me start by clarifying a few things.

1. You should never marry someone because you're trying to help him meet a spiritual obligation.

2. President Monson was, I believe, speaking more to the LDS guys in their late 20's and early 30's who have no legitimate reason for still being single.

3. While a relationship can grow over a long distance (Sister Jo and I were pen pals for about 3 months before we started dating seriously), the distance has to be closed before any decisions are made.

Plus, in my opinion, you're too young, both literally and in the gospel, to be making eternal decisions. Soon you won't be, but right now you are.

Get to BYU in the Fall. If this guy is smart enough to ask you out, go out with him. But go out with lots of other guys, too, should the opportunity arise. (And I suspect it will.)

Give it at least three months of dating in close proximity before you make any long-term plans.

Oh, and be sure that you've dated him (or any other guy, for that matter) long enough that you know most of the answers to "Bro Jo's List of Stuff You Need to Know Before You Get Engaged", and feel be sure that you feel comfortable with those answers.

Let me know how it works out, but for now Slow Down and Enjoy the Journey.

- Bro Jo