Overcoming the Spiritual Void Left By Pornography and Mastubation

Dear Bro Jo,

I have done something wrong.

Starting when I was young (around 5 years old is the 1st time I remember) I . . . did things with myself.

Things that I am not proud of now at all.... I would masturbate.

This activity, along with looking at pornography started when I was so young I couldn't understand it was wrong and progressed until I knew better and couldn't stop.

My sin it felt like was always in the way of my relationship with God.

I could be doing my best at reading my scriptures and praying, but this thing along with other sins just felt like I was doing everything in vain and I would always fall back into my old ways.

Fortunately since that time in my life I have progressed.

Over the summer I had some good spiritual experiences and I made some major changes in my life.

I am now 16 and it has been since around my birthday in last year that I have done anything close to immoral with myself.

I honestly feel that I won't do it again :).

However, in some ways I still feel trapped. I am soooo ashamed at what I have done. If anyone found out about this evil thing I did I would be sooooo upset I can't even imagine!

For me being a girl it makes it worse.

I feel so alone.

This sin is usually found in guys who can't control themselves and that makes me feel weak and disgusting . . .

This is where I have become very indecisive.

How could I ever tell my sweet Bishop of this sin I committed for so long?

Do I even need to because I know I've stopped and it started before I was 8?

Also is this something I need to let people know? People I date?

Am I not worthy to enter the temple?

Finally, could I be excommunicated for something like this?

I'm sorry if I’m piling this on you and maybe this is not the usual question, but I really need some perspective.

Thank you so much,

- Ashamed


Dear Little Sister,

You need not be "Ashamed"; even though we make mistakes, through the Atonement of Christ we can become clean again.

And you're not alone.

Yours is not the only email on this topic I've ever received, from guys . . . or girls. It's natural to be curious about one's body, particularly when we're very young.  But, as you've discovered, masturbation and pornography become addictions that taint our view of sex, and mess with our hearts, minds and spirits.

Loneliness is one of Satan's most powerful weapons against us, but we're never alone. The Savior knows anything and everything we may ever have to endure.  He is the friend that never leaves us.

Any behavior that keeps us from feeling the Spirit is behavior that we need to cleanse from our lives.  It's wonderful that you've stopped, so now you need to do what you need to do to feel whole; so that you feel free instead of trapped.

Your Bishop cares about you, and will want to help you feel the love of the Savior. He's the one who can answer questions about your worthiness and will be able to help you feel like you can go to the Temple.

You certainly don't need to tell people you date (and shouldn't) about your transgression.

If there's nothing more to your story than what you've told me, then I highly doubt you'll be excommunicated. But that's between you, your Bishop, and the Lord.

Trust me: your Bishop has heard much worse.

Talk to him.

I promise you'll feel tons better.

Call your Bishop now and see him as soon as you can.

- Bro Jo