His Girlfriend Wants to Serve a Mission - Part 2

Dear Bro Jo,

We've been together for a while.

We have been talking about marriage as a "when" for about a month.

She said she wants to be married before her 21st Birthday (A year from next Friday).

She told me Sunday night last week.

She said she feels the spirit telling her to go.

I'm just torn about it.

I know there are other out there, but I don't want anyone else.

I love this girl.

I've dated a lot, had several Girlfriends, but THIS girl is almost make-believe like in how compatible we are.

Like I said, if she does go, I'll wait.

- Waiting




Dear Waiting,

No you won't.

And you shouldn't.

Just like it does when the roles are reversed, you'll need to date while she's gone and see what happens.

HOWEVER . . .

Could she be more obvious?!?!!

1) She's told you she wants to get married within the next year. (That can't happen if she's gone, bro.)

2) You've been talking about marriage for a while.

Dude, either she wants you to fight for her to stay, wants you to tell her that you can't live without her, wants reassurance that you're really going to get married (that means a ring and a date, my man) . . . or she's realized you're not the guy for her.

At least not right now.

Look, the prophets have been pretty clear, no young woman should postpone marriage for a mission; it's not required of girls the way it is of us.

So there's no way the Spirit is telling her go instead of marry you if the two of you would be a good eternal match.

This is no different for guys than it is for girls, a mission call is a break up.

When the person you're involved with puts in their mission papers, it's over.

You're supposed to go out there and date other people.

Choosing to "wait" for a couple weeks or months is one thing, but over a year is a mistake. You may miss too many opportunities, become a distraction to the missionary, and are making promises that, more often than not, don't work out.

Now maybe you'll still be single when she comes back, maybe you won't.

Maybe you'll still feel the same about her after the mission, maybe you won't.

Maybe she'll still be interested then, maybe not.

But that's too many "maybes" to put your life on hold, or hers either.

By the way, Sister Jo says that this girl is subtly telling you that if you don't make a commitment (which she believes is what this girl wants you to do), she's out of here, and if that's not the case, then Sister Jo thinks that this girl is trying to tell you . . . well . . . it's over.

Either way, you either let her go with the understanding that, at least for now (and likely forever), this is the end, or you go for broke, beg her to stay, and actually propose.

Let the Spirit help you know which is the right move, but don't count on being able to have it both ways.

Talk to her.

Lay it on the line.

Whatever the result, you'll always regret it if you don't tell her how you feel.

Good luck, and let us know how the talk goes!

- Bro Jo