Should She Slow the Relationship Down?

Dear Bro Jo,

Hey, Melody again.

Well, I am now at the Y, and a lot has changed since last time I wrote.

I recently halfway Dear Johned "my missionary" based on promptings that I needed to put some distance between us and open my heart to other relationships.

We still care about each other and plan to date when he comes back, and I'm still going to write him, but it's more of a friend thing for the next 10-11 months. Shortly thereafter, I met a great guy, who I've kind of been seeing. He's spiritual, kind, fun, affectionate, just a great guy. I mean, the first time we spent time together, it felt like we'd been dating for months. Basically, it's been moving really fast, everyone who knows us thinks he might ask me to be his girlfriend soon.

Don't worry, I've been setting boundaries to help slow it down, which he has completely respected.

The only problem is he doesn't ever verbalize his feelings about me, so I have no idea where we're at (at the end of our last date, I asked, but he changed the subject).

He's also an RM of about two years.

Anyways, I'm a little torn because I'm significantly younger, I've only been in one relationship ever, and I haven't known him that long (3 1/2 weeks or so, and we've been "dating" for about two, though he's tried to see me every few days, so it's pretty frequent), but I feel ridiculously drawn to him (perhaps this is one of those things I was supposed to open my heart to) .

So, I was wondering…do you have one of your magical lists floating around in your head about Stuff You Need To Know Before Getting Into A Serious Relationship With Someone?

Something like that?

- Melody




Dear Melody,

I don't see a reason for you to artificially slow things down. 

And I don't think 19 and 23 are too far apart. 

It's still a bit early to be verbalizing feelings, or expecting him to. 

I think the list you're looking for is Bro Jo's Levels of a Relationship . . . 

or maybe Things You Need To Know Before you Get Engaged. 

- Bro Jo