Online Dating and Blind Dates

Dear Bro Jo,

Hey! It is me again.

I was just wondering what your thoughts were on online dating, aside from the obvious safety concerns.

My dad suggested it to me after things went downhill with the other guy, and so I humored him and signed up for one of the LDS dating sites.

And immediately I have gone from unnoticed, un-talked to girl, to having a million guys trying to talk to me!

I think I've already found one I'm interested in becoming more acquainted with...

He's ten years older than I am, but I find that I really don't mind that very much anymore.

The guys I dealt with that were my age just didn't jive well with me.

Just curious.

- Bug




Dear Bug,

There's no such thing as online dating.

If you're online, it's not a date.

I do think that in some situations the internet can be a good way, perhaps one of the few ways, for people to meet.

In some areas and with some age groups there just aren't a whole lot of options without going on line.

And I think that's fine.

Not my favorite or first recommendation, but I see its value.

They key, regardless of one's age or location, is to realize that the reason we out the word "virtual" in front of the word "reality" is to remind us that these things are not real.

No one's picture is true.

No one is forthcoming with all information.

And no real relationship can happen or grow in cyberspace.

If websites can introduce you to new people, and those introductions lead to actual in person dates, then that's fine.

If this becomes a substitute for real dating and talking face-to-face to people ... then that's not good.

Stay away from "hook-up" sites.  That's not where people go who are looking for someone to respect.

And, as always,

Be Safe.

- Bro Jo




Dear Bro Jo,

I agree.

But I also agree that it is a good way for people to meet, particularly when they are in circumstances that are not accommodating to much social activity, such as my life-sucking work schedule that requires me to work nights, and every other weekend with a day off at the beginning to middle of the week.

I prefer the face-to-face stuff. And when starting out, I prefer it in public areas where if something became a problem, people would be around to intervene or seek help from.

On that note. Ten year age difference?

I'm 21, he's 31 but we seem to have a lot in common.

(Granted, face to face, in person conversation is required.)

Is that weird?

I used to think that much of an age gap was weird before, and now it doesn't bother me.

The ones my age don't seem to jive very well with my personality and who I am.

Thoughts?

Thanks,

- Bug




Dear Bug,

I disagree that your work schedule will keep you from meeting people.

Staying home when you’re not working does that.

Especially at your age.

And I'd like you to consider this: if the only time and way you can meet people is at home during the day on the internet ... what kind of 31 year old is chatting online in the middle of the day???

In general I do say that 31 and 21 is too far apart ... but there are always exceptions to the rule.

I think you should meet this guy.

Public place, take your phone, make sure someone knows where you are, get yourself there, and don't leave to go anywhere else with him.

Unless it's arranged by a mutual trusted friend or relative, a girl needs to be super careful with blind dates in this day and age.

- Bro Jo