Hi Bro. Jo,
I've been dating a lot since I've last emailed you, and it's been great! I've been dating a lot of very different guys and it's helping me learn more about myself and how I need to improve in order to progress towards marriage. It's also helping me become more aware of the type of man that I am most compatible with.
This brings me to my current situation. . . There are two men that I am currently involved with. By involved I just mean dating, but neither is exclusive. I like them both for different reasons. The first guy is so fun and outgoing, super funny, hardworking, committed to living the gospel and following Christ, and I feel very comfortable around him. We talk about anything and everything. We have SO much fun! We're both the youngest children of huge families, and as a result, are incredibly similar (in good ways, and not so good ways).
The second guy is also very hardworking, committed to the gospel, and so kind. He is a little less outgoing and funny, but has such a kind, tender heart. I feel at ease around him because he is so calm and easygoing. I feel like he mellows me out a bit, which is good for me. We aren't as similar, but I feel our personalities and lifelong goals complement each other well.
So, I ask you: when looking for an eternal partner (as I could easily see myself marrying either down the road), are opposites really best? Or should I look for someone more similar to myself, personality wise? Neither is perfect, they both have their flaws (as do I. . .times a million). I've been reading about "Birth order marriages" and it says two last born children do not a stable marriage make, and I could definitely see that happening if I chose the first guy (we're both very free-spirited). I could also see us having the funnest life ever together. But, with the second guy, I could see us having a very stable, tender relationship.
What do you think? I have never been married and don't quite have your expertise. ;)
Thanks in advance for your help!
- The Opposite
Dear O,
Finding a Good Eternal Companion is less about attraction and more about finding someone you can love and serve and whom you can trust will love and serve you.
Sister Jo and I are opposite about somethings, but not very many.
I am very grateful that I married someone I like to hang out with, with whom I have a lot in common; someone I can trust; someone I can talk to.
That doesn't mean we don't fight and argue!
But it does mean that when the dust settles I know she's there for me.
- Bro Jo
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