What If Your Friend is in a Relationship Too Young?

Dear Bro Jo-

I am in need of some advice.... shocker right?!

I have a friend that I am really worried about.  She is a great girl, but she keeps getting into these really serious relationships that move very fast.  Then, they break up and she plunges into another intense relationship.

She is only 16 and her current boyfriend is 18 but they are already talking marriage and kids even though they have only been dating two months.  They even had a photo shoot "just for fun" at the temple...

She's also planning on going on a mission, but the choices she is making aren't exactly leading down that path...but she won't listen.

Whenever I talk to her about it she just says "I set my boundaries, and he knows what they are" and changes the subject or talks about how great he is for "accepting her boundaries."

How do I help her understand that she is making the wrong choices?  I don't want to see her get hurt or in trouble because that is where it is leading.  I know she is going to regret the choices she is making one day.

She has had a pretty tough life and her family situation isn't exactly ideal, so it's possible that she's turning to these relationships to find some sort of fulfillment or to make up for something she is lacking at home.  But obviously she should find her value from God!  Not some boy.  How do I get that through to her??

I know I can't make her decisions for her... but I want to help!!  What do I do??  I don't to seem too pushy either...

-Anonymous




Dear Anon,

Nothing.

There's nothing you can say that will change what she's doing.

She hasn't asked for your help or interference and she hasn't asked for your advice.

Let me teach you something about "young people in love":  . . they're pretty closed off to anyone telling them that they're making a mistake.

Every single one of the Jo Kids knows that I think being in a "relationship" before you get out of

High School is a bad idea.  To date every one of them that has gone to high school has been in one.

Or more.

I've written a lot about why that happens, and why I think it's a bad idea . . . but the bottom line is that once the Jo Kids' "relationships" have ended, they agree that, while it had fun moments and they enjoyed it at the time, it really wasn't worth all the hassle and drama.

But while they were in them?  Nah.  They all thought they were the exception.

As does the one that's in a relationship right now.

And there you go.

If she asks your opinion, give it.  Gently.

For now love her, show her support, be her friend, and suggest them as a couple when the guys who ask you on Casual Group Dates are looking for dating buddies.

Set the example.

- Bro Jo