Dear Bro Jo,
Okay so I'm just going to start by explaining what's happened in the last couple weeks.
I invited the missionaries (Elders) from my ward over for dinner. I also invited my cousin but turned out he couldn't come, so I really needed to find a guy that could come or I'd have to cancel.
There was a guy I had gone out with but not for over a year, we had gone out once or twice but he hadn't asked me out again which is whatever. But when I would see him once and awhile around we would chat he'd give a hug or throw an arm around my shoulders. Which was more confusing than anything, I had decided if I had a chance I'd ask why he'd never asked me out again. I was going between I really do like him and he's such an idiot if he's not going to ask me out again I wish he'd leave me alone
Anyways I figured he would come to dinner on short notice if I asked and he did come. He said he'd been thinking about me and that we should do more stuff again. I said well you just have to ask! He said I know I know but since this was just yesterday I had yet to get around to the doing part.
After dinner he asked what I would say if he asked me out again. I said I'd ask why it took so long. He said something like well I didn't really know what I wanted. I asked well now you do? He said well I know better what I don't want. So I told him if he asked I'd probably say yes.
He did ask me and we went out where he asked me to the dance coming the next weekend. He also gave me a little kiss but I think he mostly missed but it was cute
The dance was fun we held hands as we went in to the gym (which as apparently spread ridiculously fast I got a text from my cousin this morning asking about it! Less than 12 hours after the dance ended!) we were slow dancing he mentioned I wasn't looking him in the eye I tried but I couldn't stare into his eyes it was awkward.
On the way home he said he liked me, he doesn't always know what he wants but he wants to see what happens with whatever this is he can't make promises about what will happen. I told I liked him and couldn't expect any promises.
When he dropped me off he said he wanted to try that kiss again we did it lasted a little longer than again about the same thing. I told him to call me and we would figure out a time to see each other again.
He's a good guy. I guess question is this I'm supposed to like kissing right? I have never been kissed before so maybe I'm something wrong but I was under the impression I was supposed to like it a lot. I just didn't, I can't say I really am dying to do it again or ever maybe.
I've wanted to get kissed for a while now but sex always been a scary thing for me which I haven't had to worry about so far but this kiss thing has got me thinking if I don't even like kissing... I don't want to be that wife who is like ugh he wants sex again... yuck
Is wanting to be more physical something that comes with a more serious relationship?
Thanks for taking the time to help, not sure how to explain this anyone else.
- Name Withheld
Dear NW,
Did you know that in lots of cultures kissing is not something they do?
True story.
See, kissing is a cultural thing. Some people like it, some love it, and some could take it or leave it.
I suspect you'll enjoy it more as you gain experience and as the person you're kissing becomes better at kissing.
It may help to realize that he's kissing you because he likes you and finds you attractive.
It may also help you to like kissing when you realize how . . . excited . . . kissing you makes him feel.
There's a big gap between kissing and sex. While both can be scary, both can be enjoyable when they are shared with the person you love.
For now, enjoy your relationship, and see if kissing him doesn't get more enjoyable with time and experience.
- Bro Jo
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