Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Staying Temple Worthy Once Engaged - Part 1 of 2

Dear Bro Jo,

I am a RM and getting married in 3 weeks to a wonderful LDS girl. We just met with our stake president who signed our temple recommend. My problem is that as we get closer to our wedding date, I am feeling more and more unworthy to go to the Temple. I've always had this problem. Even when I don't do anything wrong, I feel guilty and unworthy for no good reason.

I've been thinking about what I've done with my fiancé. We practiced a few times horizontal make out. It always lasted 5-10 seconds before we would realize what we were doing and we would stop. But I felt guilty because though we kept our clothes on, our genital parts were touching (but we had no desire to stimulate them).

My fiancé didn't think we needed to go see a Bishop but she talked about it with her mom who said it was fine. We just had to be more careful. My fiancé told me we were worthy and that I should simply trust her.

My worry is that I saw online people stating that horizontal making out should be confessed to a bishop. That scared me a lot knowing that we already have our temple recommend and are getting sealed in 3 weeks. If I knew that what I did was breaking the LoC, I wouldn't have done it. I'm kind of stressed out with all that.

Do you think I'm fine or should I contact my Bishop or my stake president?

Thank you,

- Stressed Out




Dear Stressed,

My general rule of thumb is that if you're worried about your Temple worthiness, go talk to your Bishop.  Always better to clear the air than to feel guilty.

For the record, I agree with her mom; you're fine, just be more careful.

It's a good thing that you're both attracted to and excited by each other.  That temptation will increase as the wedding day approaches.  Some couples find it wise to make sure their chaperoned, or never alone in the dark . . . or near a bed . . . whatever they need to do to "stay focused".

I'd be more worried if you were a teenager . . . or if you weren't worried at all.

Relax.

But Be Smart, too.

- Bro Jo

No comments:

Post a Comment