Learning to Talk to People

Dear Bro Jo,

I have always been extremely introverted and somewhat socially awkward. In the past I could spend all of my time alone and not really care. It's not that I don't like people or even that I am necessarily shy, I just don't know what to say when taking to people. It is especially difficult for me to talk to girls and adults. This is becoming a problem because I am now 18 and am now one myself and about to serve a mission.

I enjoy spending time with friends and family and I have been trying to come out of my shell but it is simply against my nature. I really want to be able to develop relationships with the people I come into contact with but I don't really know how.

Is it possible to overcome my reclusive nature?

How can I become better at communicating with people?

How can I become comfortable with talking to adults and girls?

- Introverted




Dear Introverted,

How does one become a better swimmer or musician?

Communication is a skill.  The more we practice, the better we become.

Instead of focusing on what to say, develop a half dozen "get to know someone questions":

1.  What is your name?

2.  What is your family like?

3.  What do you like to do in your free time?

4.  What do you do for work or school?

5.  What are your goals?  Hopes?  Dreams?

6.  If you could travel anywhere, where would you like to go?


With each question you ask LISTEN to what the person is saying and think of a followup question.


For example:

"My name is Brother Johnston"

"Cool.  Where does the name "Johnston" come from?"

"Well . . . it used to be Johnson before my great-great grandfather decided to add the T.  If you go back further in our genealogy it used to be Johansen"



And you continue along that line of conversation as long as it's engaging.

If they ask you a question, you answer.

It's much simpler than you think.

Just practice!

- Bro Jo