tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8729080532188674868.post2940350398245839670..comments2024-03-23T19:56:39.134-06:00Comments on Dear Bro Jo . . . : He's Desperate for a Second Date - Part 7Bro Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525964417706399553noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8729080532188674868.post-8452090801024482512011-08-08T09:59:58.454-06:002011-08-08T09:59:58.454-06:00Great points!
- Bro JoGreat points!<br /><br />- Bro JoBro Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04525964417706399553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8729080532188674868.post-84743222452875194652011-08-08T09:48:04.999-06:002011-08-08T09:48:04.999-06:00I agree with a lot that has been said already. I&#...I agree with a lot that has been said already. I'd like to add a comment that one of my best friends has told me, "Relationships are created by 30% attraction and 70% timing". I think one of "desperate"s biggest problems is simply getting a girl, rather than enjoying the process. I have been at BYU eight months and just barely got into a relationship after many failed experiences. Several of them were due to timing. Sometimes its on your side and sometimes its not. But certainly don't get too discouraged because every girl up to this point has only done one or two dates max up to this point. And keep in mind that girls talk A LOT and if they had a bad experience with a guy, there's a good chance that even girls outside her group of friends, i.e. the rest of the ward, will find very quickly. So, if at all possible, "desperate" here might want a change of location. The fish might be all but completely scared away by this point. No offense intended.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8729080532188674868.post-63690361751732862572011-08-05T09:17:42.400-06:002011-08-05T09:17:42.400-06:00We girls like to whisper in hallways about guys li...We girls like to whisper in hallways about guys like Desperate. And that's exactly what we label them. "Desperate."<br /><br />The one line that always comes up, "He just really wanted to get married." And this line implies that you don't care two bits about WHO the girl is as long as the ordinance is performed. It puts a lot of girls off.<br /><br />We like to feel special, and I'm not talking about the happy-meal kind that you just take and run. I'm talking "one-of-a-kind" special. We like to feel cared for. Even if there is no "the one" when you brethren want to date us seriously you need to make us feel like we are your "one." More importantly, she's got to believe it, and that takes time.<br /><br />What desperate needs to do is (again) slow down. Date and become friends, then after a few dozen dates feel out the situation before asking about the next level. He may have already developed a reputation in his area as "the guy who just wants to get married," its going to take time to counter that stigma, but it's do-able.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8729080532188674868.post-47063322092253648122011-08-04T14:02:09.633-06:002011-08-04T14:02:09.633-06:00I once causually dated a guy that was great fun to...I once causually dated a guy that was great fun to be around- he was successful and motivated to do well, an RM, spiritual, and funny. I had more fun on dates with him then any others I had been on, but he wanted to move way too fast (wanted to get engaged within a month of our first date because the Spirit told him I was the one). Because of this, our relationship did not last. Fast forward 7 years, we are both happily married (to others). My husband and I have a child and the last I heard, he had two or three with his wife. My advice- slow down, don't push marriage, and really get to be friends with the girls you're dating- my husband never pushed me or tried to rush our relationship (I was the one who brought up marriage two months after our first date).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8729080532188674868.post-72251374112480365902011-08-03T01:22:22.436-06:002011-08-03T01:22:22.436-06:00I think he needs to slow down a little. He thinks ...I think he needs to slow down a little. He thinks too much about the agenda and not enough about just enjoying it while it lasts.....Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10507007868959229900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8729080532188674868.post-5842373178329844832011-08-01T16:28:57.882-06:002011-08-01T16:28:57.882-06:00Not knowing desperate's circumstances it's...Not knowing desperate's circumstances it's hard to give this advice, but what happened for me was similar. I struggled finding positive relationships. I lived in a place with a limited LDS community. There was an entire Singles Ward so it's not like there was nothing, but if Desperate is as odd as I am, then it takes a special kind of person to put up with you. I moved to an LDS rich area of the country, and had a succession of girlfriends. It certainly wasn't always rosy, but it has turned out well. I don't think it's the solution for everybody, and heaven knows I was hesitant to do it myself, but perhaps for some people it might be a good way to take advantage of Bro. Jo's advice to "widen your circle."Christopher Cunninghamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11886330185703159799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8729080532188674868.post-18212891970380801282011-08-01T12:30:43.740-06:002011-08-01T12:30:43.740-06:00Hmm, sounds like he's made some progress. But ...Hmm, sounds like he's made some progress. But yeah, way too fast. I had one guy grab my hand on the first date, mention relationship on the second, and bring up marriage on the third. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I said "I'm not ready for a relationship right now." Total cop out and I knew it. The next guy I dated didn't mention any kind of relationship until we'd been out 7 times in a row. He was a keeper. :)Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16628807526902418852noreply@blogger.com