tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8729080532188674868.post5403849890776913964..comments2024-03-23T19:56:39.134-06:00Comments on Dear Bro Jo . . . : The Family You Marry IntoBro Johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525964417706399553noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8729080532188674868.post-9271542029956047222012-06-01T10:54:13.430-06:002012-06-01T10:54:13.430-06:00I have an extremely dysfunctional set of in-laws. ...I have an extremely dysfunctional set of in-laws. Without getting into too much detail, I had no idea just how weird/messed up things were when I was engaged. I knew the basics, but none of the history. <br /><br />My husband and I deal by living 5 hours away from his nearest family and he makes decisions about what kind of relationship he wants to have with particular family members (when to visit, when to withdraw, etc.) It is HIS family after all and he is the one who has dealt with them his entire life. We aren't really close with any of them, but distance helps us maintain an emotionally healthy outlook with certain family members. <br /><br />It also helps that my family is just 2 hours away. We have a great relationship with them and they're extremely supportive. <br /><br />I would be lying if I said I never wished I had great in-laws, but we've managed just fine. I think distance helps A LOT with boundaries for us. I'm not saying don't get married to this guy (although after 2 years, I would think you would know by now) but be very aware that you are tied to his family after that and you should both have a solid idea of how you are going to approach those relationships before you go into marriage.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8729080532188674868.post-13323696908769590172012-06-01T09:03:32.064-06:002012-06-01T09:03:32.064-06:00One of the possible reasons for the BF not proposi...One of the possible reasons for the BF not proposing after so long is a concern that he may turn out to also be an abuser. It's good that you've let him know that you would not put up with it in him, but the fear may still be there. Talking about the progression of your relationship is a very good thing. Hopefully he'll be able to put those feelings aside and realize what he has, and the possibility of losing it forever.<br /><br />I hope things go better for your (hopefully future) mother in law.Frank Pelletthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08830375239700028422noreply@blogger.com