How Does She Know?

Dear Bro Jo –

I know you've probably got tons of questions concerning this but what are ways that guys show that they like you?

I'm needing the advice as there's this guy that I'm kind of interested in that I would like to date if he reciprocates.

We talk and from reading your posts you stated that if a guy talks to you he likes you but to what extent?

What does it mean when during a conversation a guy is animated when he is answering but suddenly stops talking? I ask him questions to get the conversation going and then sometimes he asks a question back, but for the most part once I'm done asking him questions he stops talking.

Is that a bad sign? Does it mean that basically he's not in to me?

How I can better deal with such situations?

The boy I'm talking about is a pretty awesome guy who's an introverted socialist, intellectual, sweet with a testimony.

We haven't known each other that long as I just moved into the new area that I now live a couple of months ago but I see him everyday for seminary since he carpools along with a group of youth along with me.

Confuzzled


Dear Confuzzled,

Like you girls don’t have enough power over boys, now you want me to tell you the signs that a guy likes you?

OK. Fine.

Here’s the big clue: Is he breathing?

If he’s close enough that you can tell he’s breathing, he likes you.

Does that mean he’ll admit it? Heck No!

But rest assured that guys don’t spend time with girls they’re not interested in on some level.

You know where the real problem arises is that for many girls “Interest” needs to equal “Commitment” and for boys that’s just not the case. A guy can be very interested in a girl that he has no intention of being the boyfriend of, nor is he even ready to ask her out.

But then Men and Women look at Sex differently, too.

In general Women see Sex as equivalent to Love, where as Guys see Sex as, well . . . Sex.

This, my young friends, is Why You Should Not Have Sex Until You’re Married (at least one of the Big Reasons). You guys aren’t dumb: all of you know Girls at School that have Sex with their Boyfriends because they think it means they’re in love, or, even worse (if that’s possible) because they think that’s how to keep a boyfriend. What these girls fail to realize is that for these Loser Guys they’re “dating” (not that these boys ever take them out) Sex is about Gratification, not Love, because, and read this closely ladies,

A Guy Can Have Sex with A Woman he:

a) doesn’t respect
b) doesn’t like
c) doesn’t even find that attractive

because by Nature and Chemical he just thinks of Sex as Sex. Is that really how you want to be thought of?

If he loved her more than he loved himself he’d preserve and honor her virtue and insist on holding off sex until after marriage.

And the Good Guys do. Remember that.

But back to the original question, Confuzzled: You can pretty much bet that a guy likes you if he communicates with you in any way on a regular basis. Talking, Texting, Email, Eye Contact. Even if he has another love interest; if he was that interested in Her he wouldn’t be spending all that time communicating with You.

Trust me, if a guy communicates with you all the time, it’s NOT because he wants you to be his “buddy”.

Stopping the conversation may not be a bad sign. He may be shy. He may not know what else to say. He may be tired . . .

But I’ll say this: if you find that you’re always the one putting forth the effort, he may just be being polite, and you may be projecting your feelings and wishes into the situation. Sometimes people are being nice or polite and we interpret that to mean that they like us more than they do because that's what we wish for: we believe what we want to believe.

If you want more guys to talk to you, try that magic hair spray mentioned a couple letters ago and practice the art of asking guys to talk about themselves.

- Bro Jo