Make it Happen

Dear Bro Jo,

I need some advice. I have had heaps of advice from all sorts of people, like my Mum, my Bishop, my Stake Patriarch, the 2nd Councilor in my Stake Presidency and heaps of friends and they all tell me something different, so I'm just a little confused.

I'm trying to find a worthy Priesthood holder to take me to the Temple. There is a lovely 32 yr old guy in my ward (where single guys are few and far between), who has been married and divorced, has two lovely little boys and is a worthy Priesthood holder and RM. He is the Young Men's President and I am the Young Women's President. I understand that he might be a little nervous about starting something new. (I don't know how long he has been divorced, but I'm pretty sure it's been a couple of years.)

I would like to know how I let him know that I like him and want to get to know him better. I read your advice about flirting for guys, and I do all that, I don't know if it works the other way. We have been out together, but not on dates, as we have paid for ourselves, or we have shared the costs - he has paid for the food, I've paid for the movie. I'm 28, I have recently (in the last 3 years) become active again after being inactive for about 10 years, in that time I lived with my ex and I got used to paying for things by myself (wasn't the best relationship). It's been three years since I split with the ex (the best thing I ever did).

I am a very independent person, and I feel bad when someone pays for me. I have read that guys should be planning, picking up and paying for dates, but I really have problems doing that. This guy friend and I went out to the movies the other night, and he paid, but I feel bad. We have gone out a few times, sometimes he has asked if I would like to do something, other times I have suggested that I would like to see a certain movie or do something, and most of the time he picks up on it and we do whatever it was. We haven't even held hands, even though we have spent hours and hours just talking and watching movies or TV.

I just don't know where to go from the friendship we have. I am scared to tell him how I feel, as I don't want to loose the friendship either. I have been fasting and praying about, and I always get a good feeling about him. My heart stops a beat when I see him and I get butterflies when we accidentally touch. Please, please, please help. What do I do?

Confused and Lonely.

P.S. I hope that all that makes sense.


Dear Lonely,

Oh, it makes sense . . .

I have news! You’re dating this man! Albeit not very well, but dating none-the-less.

See the Signs, already!

Do you know why you keep seeking advice from so many people? Because you’re waiting for someone to tell you what you want to hear. You’re in the right place!

You like him, he likes you. Stop wallowing in the failure of your last relationship, and start allowing him to treat you like the Princess and Daughter of God that you are. Be prepared to become dependent and to be someone he can depend upon.

I don’t often suggest this, but at your age and stage in life it’s over due: you really need to go up to this man and kiss him.

Seriously.

Go right now.

Get him alone, and tell him how you feel.  Put your arms around him, lean in close, eyes closed, and touch his lips with yours.

It just may be the best thing you ever do.

- Bro Jo

PS – No, the “Flirting Tips for Guys” don’t work for girls as well as the “How a Girl Can Get a Boy’s Attention” does. It’s on the Facebook Fan Site. Check it out. Especially #2 and #4. Want to draw him in even more? If you bake, make him a treat. If you don’t bake, learn.

PSS - Are you still reading this??? Go! Get out! It's smooching time!