Letter 2
Dear Bro Jo,
When I see him, there's no spark. I really don't feel anything. When he compliments how I look, like when he says I'm beautiful, I can't give a compliment back. I end up saying thank you, or changing the subject.
I don't want to lie to him and say he's handsome when I don't think he is. But personality-wise, he's gorgeous. I've heard people talk about finding someone whose personality "shined through" and made them attractive on the outside as well. I was hoping that would happen, but it didn't.
And sorry to be harsh, but when you're kissing someone, generally your eyes are closed and you don't see them.
I also have a bad habit of settling and of rationalizing with myself.
- Sitter
Dear Sitter,
I've always said that every woman has at least some attractive physical feature; maybe it's her eyes, or legs, or complexion . . . maybe she has great hair . . .
Perhaps that's not true of guys.
Is there NOTHING physically attractive about this man?
Did he fall out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down?
Look, you feel how you feel, but it is a little tough to wrap my head around you making out with some guy that repulses you . . . I mean, unless you're drunk or desperate . . .
Because, let's face it, if you're super-model sexy then you'd have tons of hot, superficial guys to swap spit with, but clearly you picked the car chaser . . .
I'm just saying.
- Bro Jo
Personally, I believe if this is how you feel about the guy, you need to sever connections with him so he can find someone who loves all of him for who he is.
ReplyDeleteI know you don't want to loose a friend, but what is happening here is you are giving him hope for a relationship while you tell others he is ugly and you can only kiss him because your eyes are closed.
Not to be harsh, but he deserves better. Let him go find that.
I'm sorry, but I agree with Rachel. Let the boy go and find someone who appreciates him and loves him for who he is. He deserves better.
ReplyDeleteFor you Bro Jo...you know this I'm sure, but i still want to comment on it...being good looking unfortunately doesn't always get you the guys....and doesn't necessarily mean you want the good looking boys.
Looks fade, bodies change over time.
ReplyDeleteWhen this man is 65 and has spent 40 years of marriage treating her like a queen, loving her, and sustaining her in all that she does, will she look at him and think "all of that was great, but if only he was hotter when we first married . . ."
And, let's be honest, if she marries someone Just Like Her, shouldn't she expect him to bolt that first time she struggles to take off the Pregnancy Pounds?
After all, fair is fair.
- Bro Jo