I was reading through your Facebook notes (which are excellent, by the way) and I read the one about How a Girl Can Get a Guy to Ask Her on a Date. My friends and I (all of us are YSA-age) agree that we would definitely use these tips... if we were sure the guy was interested in asking us out in the first place (and just too shy or too afraid of rejection to do it without any signals from the girl). I know I'm probably speaking for a lot of girls out there when I ask: How can we tell if a guy is interested? I, for one, know I wouldn't want to use one of those tips only to find out that the guy wasn't interested in me in the first place. Are there any signs we should look for?
Also-- in that note, you say: "He likes you already! If he didn't he wouldn't be talking to you. We men can be that shallow, you know."
However-- how much "talking to you" constitutes an interest? Don't some people talk to others just because they're friendly, outgoing people?
Sincerely,
~ Ms. Over-Analytical (because I know I am... but I believe my questions are still valid.)
Dear Analytical -
Of course your questions are valid!
(And thank you for the compliment, by the way.)
The way that you find out if a guy is interested is to . . . (wait for it) . . . use the tips you mentioned! (Bro Jo's "How a Girl Can Get a Guy to Ask Her on a Date")
Rejection is part of the risk - there are no guarantees - at some point you just have to close your eyes and jump into the lake; order something new off of the menu; talk to someone you've never talked to before.
Invoke an attitude change. Make the risk part of the fun. Laugh and learn.
Now, that's not to say that you should run up to some stranger and start hounding him to ask you out. The stuff in the note is for guys you already know.
So perhaps what you need to do first is get to know some guys.
Start with a conversation. Go up. Introduce yourself. Ask him about him. Do that 3 or 4 times. If he seems interested, then go for it.
OK. How do you know he's interested?
When you talk to him, does he talk back? (Remember: Good Conversation is more about You Listening than You Talking.)
Does he ever make eye contact?
Does he smile when you say "hello"?
When you reach out to touch him on the arm, does he flinch or does he flush? (Flushing = Good, Flinching = Bad)
When you move closer as you're talking to him, does he run away?
Does he compliment you without you telling him to?
Does he ever initiate conversation?
Come on, girls, you're not in 7th grade anymore. Open your eyes and observe.
We men are EXTREMELY easy to read.
- Bro Jo
PS - Single Men DO NOT waste their time consistently talking to Single Women that they're not interested in.
Read that again.
Each word is chosen very carefully. Wrap your head around that and don't imply anything that isn't in there.
Go on; you can read it again.
It's true.
I promise.
(Seriously, didn't your moms teach you this stuff?)
I was raised by and surrounded by males, so their nature is kind of my second nature, if you will. Not that Bro Jo's explanations need supplement, but here are some pearls of wisdom I was given by my brothers:
ReplyDelete1) "If you understand a guy, you're thinking way too hard."
2 "If you're confused about something a guy said, just remember: what he said was actually just what he said."
And my personal favorite...
3) "When you ask a guy what he's thinking about and he says 'Nothing,' he's not lying."
Good luck. :]
Brilliant Camille!
ReplyDeleteJust realized a typo.
ReplyDelete"If you DON'T understand a guy, you're thinking way too hard."
LOL. Hope I didn't cause any serious confusion.
And thanks, Bro Jo. :]
Awesome! I wouldn't have put that any different! I think all the girls in my ward should read that Camille!
ReplyDeletewow this was really good!
ReplyDeletethanks for the advice!!! :D