Follow Up - Getting a Dating Buddy

[Readers - a Follow-up from April's "Getting a Dating Buddy" column.]

Dear Bro Jo,

Yes, in the time since I sent the request I found at least one non LDS young man who would certainly be able to date, though he is a skilled player, so it really depends on the timing with him as he does not seem to keep a lady long.

The presence of my 19 year old brother for the next few months (or years) makes the situation a little easier for the time being, as he can drive, though I wonder whether providing additional reason for him to stick around is advisable. It's his choice regardless whether to go on a mission, and when to go.

As for willing young ladies, I have found that I needed to change my view point completely. The reason for this was found in how the young ladies who were attracted to me, were not the ones I was trying to attract, and were the ones that I was only friendly with, and not flirting with. Therefore I shifted my view to not seriously considering any young women, and viewing all as friends only. (yes i do understand your thesis on the subject, however I also have the religiously valid material to maintain my position on that)

Presently I am working on planning an outing with my parents, and a girl skilled at flirting, to see an imax film sometime this next week. I'll update you on whether it actually happens.

- - - seven days later - - -

As i expected, something came up, she ended up being too busy with other concerns to be able to show, another failed plan, back to the drawing board, maybe the aquarium of the pacific this next time. theres also a good local library, maybe that will be workable.

- Anon


Dear Anon,

Your brother presents a great option, except that he's on one side of adulthood and you're on the other. Sorry that last date didn't work out, keep trying . . .

And make the Circle BIGGER.

The Aquarium of the Pacific is very close to where I lived when I went to High School and College; in an area of six million people you should be able to do better than "at least one non lds young man who would certainly be able to date, though he is a skilled player".

Make some friends, bro. I just checked, I think you have over 10 wards in a five mile radius . . . in my old home town of Cypress (I was a Centurion!) there are now FIVE different wards alone! (And that's just one town over from the Aquarium.) Surely you can find another over 16-year old LDS Guy who's a decent chap that's ready to date.

Doubling with your parents can be fun, but should be rare.

I think you're approaching this thing too clinically . . . stop worrying about "girls as friends" and get out there and have some fun!


- Bro Jo

PS: About your date "criteria" - widen that, too. Why does a girl you ask out on a casual group date have to look a particular way, or be your buddy, or find you attractive, or be particularly flirty? Non of that matters that much at this stage. Casual Group Dating is like a YM/YW activity where they boys and girls are paired off and there are no leaders. Get four Priests together, ask out five Laurels, and have a good time.

It's as easy as that.