Follow Up - Love the Sinner (part 2)

Dear Bro. Jo,

Thanks for the advice. I find it interesting and above all, refreshing.

Actually, he hasn't "experimented" yet. Last he told me, the thought of gay sex repulsed him, however he finds himself only attracted to men. I know he watches a lot of pornography, he's told me -- in fact, he has told me many times that I should watch it myself as I am "too naive on the mechanics of sex" in general.

Of course that is a great opportunity for me to bear my testimony of the Church, and the law of chastity, and I really love these opportunities. Let me just say this: I love the Gospel, I am amazed by the blessings it brings, and I love sharing what I know with other people because it reaffirms what I know to be true.

That being said, if he's not technically "homosexual" YET, can I help him? How? Perhaps he is just curious by what he sees when he watches pornographic images? Is there something in particular I can/should do, or is a simple testimony enough?

Thanks for all your help and all that you do, your blog is really incredible.


Dear Lost,

Well thank you.

Ultimately he'll have to help himself . . . but he's not alone.

Both of you may want to check out one of the first columns I wrote on what your friend is going through. You can find it HERE.

Even if he had "experimented" he could choose to live a different life, so "yes", there's help.

You're right to avoid the pornography. Those images will stay burned in your brain forever - NOT the Safe Stuff much of our world would have you believe. (Dr. Ruth got it wrong, kids!)

I can't help but wonder . . . with the pornography playing a factor . . .

You know, some times the way pornography depicts sex . . . between heterosexual couples . . . can be repulsive. And sometimes when people view homosexual pornography they fantasize about themselves having the looks and physique of one of the participants . . .

Watching the porn is no doubt tainting this guy's view of sex . . .

And it may just be getting him so fired up for sex that he feels the need to . . . "act out" RIGHT NOW!

I've got a nickel that says that he's hoped that, especially if you watched the porn with him, you'd be "willing" to help him prove to himself that he's either gay or straight. (You understand what I'm suggesting there, right?)

This guy wouldn't be the first one to play the "Porn" and "Help Me" card to (forgive me) . . . get laid.

Don't do it.

You won't be Saving Him, you'll be Losing You.

I'm sure you know that, but it might help to hear it from someone else.

You're probably sitting there saying "never going to happen; he and I are Just Friends".

If you've been reading my column you'll realize that there's no such thing. Even with "gay" guys.

Thank you again for the kind words.

Good Luck,

- Bro Jo