When You Want to Go to Homecoming

Dear Bro Jo,

I love your dating advice blog, I've learned a lot from it.

Homecoming is coming up in a while, October 23, and I am a senior in high school.

Because I'm a senior and I've never gone to the homecoming dance at my school, I really want to go. Thing is, I preferably want a date to go with. And not just some guy in one of my classes. I've never really been too interested in the guys at my school, and so I'm just focusing on finding a date who's Mormon too. The guys in my seminary and Sunday School classes, well, they're fine and I'm friends with them, but if they're going to Homecoming too, I'm sure that they would be taking somebody else as their date.

When it comes to guys in my stake, I'm a little stumped. Well, okay, not completely. There's this one guy who I really like that's a senior too, but I feel like he's a little out of reach for me. We're sort of friends and know each other, more like acquaintances I suppose (we don't get to see each other that much).

He has his heart set on this one girl who's a sophomore at my school, who technically can't even date yet. In my ideal world, he would be my homecoming date. One of my best friends is telling me that I should just ask him to be my date. I'm worried that doing so will be too aggressive and I'm trying to attract him in, not scare him off. I honestly don't know what he thinks about me, but he likes me enough that he would say hi to me at stake stuff.

What should I do?!?!?

Dateless and Hopelessly Obsessed



Dear Obsessed,

First of all, thank you for the kinds words.

Now, to the point of your letter: everything you wrote up until you said "There's this one guy . . ." is bogus. If your focus is to go with a fun group, wear a pretty dress, and enjoy your senior year it doesn't matter if it's a guy from Seminary, Sunday School, or one of your other classes. So long as he's a nice guy and will treat you with respect, who the heck cares?!?

I've seen a guys told "no" because he's:
- not the guy the girl really wants to be asked by
- too nice (doesn't drink, won't dirty dance, etc.)
- not interested in having a girlfriend
- not popular, cute, smart, talented, whatever enough
- a typically awkward teen
- not going with a particular group of kids

and so many other really lousy reasons that I have a real problem with how picky some of you sisters are. Do you want to go or not? Do you want to go on dates or not? Would you rather sit home missing yet another high school dance?

Whew! Tirade over.

Whether it's this guy you wrote about or someone else, you're right: you shouldn't ask a boy to a dance (or on any kind of date) unless it's a girl-ask-guy event for exactly the reason you listed. If asking him doesn't scare him off he may not be the great guy you think he is.

That said, all's fair in love and war; don't ask him, but it's okay to get him to ask you. You can go so far as to say "Hey, are you going to ask me to Homecoming?" You'll either get asked or you'll know If he indicates that he's not sure, you say "well you better hurry, a girl like me won't be available forever, you know". If he hits you with no or "I hadn't planned on it" you say "Too bad, I thought you were smart". Either way, at the end you smile, wink, then walk away.

Just do me a favor, will ya? If Dream Guy doesn't ask and another decent guy does, say yes.

- Bro Jo

[Readers:  Check out our Facebook fan page discussion "Homecoming for predating age" and the note Bro Jo's "How to ask a Girl to a Formal Dance".]