When One Date a Month Isn't Enough

Dear Brother Jo,

So I went on this date with a very nice guy and I've liked him since the summer. We actually met on a double date and my friend went with him. We have been on 3 dates in the past 2-3 months and I think everything is going well! I'm not sure if he likes me, or even if I should ask him how he really feels about me. I feel like if he really like me then he would spend the effort and try to talk to me, over facebook, texting, calling, etc, but he doesn't! Do you think I should take the effort and try to talk to him first or back off and just see how things go, even if that includes him not texting or trying to get into contact with me?

Thank you so much!

No Contact



Dear NC,

Well . . . that depends a little bit on how old each of you is.

- Bro Jo


Dear Bro Jo,

I'm 17 and he's 18.

- NC


Dear NC,

Ah . . . okay . . . I'm teaching a class in five minutes . . . I'll be able to reply later tonight or early tomorrow

- Bro Jo


Dear Bro Jo,

Alright! Thank you and Good luck with your class!

- NC


Dear No,

Given your age I think everything is as it should be. He's acting like a guy who's going on a few occasional dates (one a month is what I recommend for pre-mission guys) and not taking anything too seriously. You, on the other hand dear little sister, are acting like a girl who wants a boyfriend. Your more concerned with whether or not he has serious feelings for you, gives you lots of time and attention, and makes you the focus of his universe. i say this with love: you're out of line; knock it off.

Dating at your age, despite what everyone around you is doing and saying and seeing and hearing, is supposed to be about having fun and no serious commitments. Casual Group Dating: that's where you should be.

If this guy is the good guy you say he is, then he won't want anything more than that, especially if he's focusing on a mission in less than a year. You're getting a date a month; that's plenty.

Oh, and while I'm thinking about it, stop defining yourself by whether or not someone else "likes" you. As a Daughter of God you have Individual Worth as part of your Divine Nature.

Have fun.

Be happy.

And relax.

And you're right, by the way: you push him or pursue him too hard and he's gone.

- Bro Jo