He's Desperate for a Second Date - Part 8

[Readers - What follows is the next letter in a series of emails between myself and "Desperate".  He's frustrated that his dating life isn't going the way he hopes it will.  If you'd like to read the previous letters, I posted parts 1-5 starting on June 20, 2011.  Click HERE to jump there.  I'll post a new letter in this series the first Monday of each month.  Please feel free to comment; I only ask that you be sensitive and sincere.  - Bro Jo]



Dear D,

So . . . tomorrow we run part 7 of our conversations. There have been lots of comments. What have you taken away from them and this experience?

Something struck me in your last correspondence. You said "no engagements yet" . . .

Funny, but I think that sums up everything I (and everyone else) have been trying to say.

- Bro Jo



Dear Bro Jo,

I'm so sorry! Please forgive me for not writing back.

In my last e-mail, I said that I was going to take a break from dating... and that's what I have done. I haven't asked for a date in almost 2 months and it has been great! Remembering what you said about not pushing so hard, I've just gone out and had a good time. I've rediscovered the joy that comes in forgetting about myself. Since I've stopped stressing over my dating disappointments, my church service has developed strongly. I've focused on people in my ward that I can help in some small way, and that has been wonderful. Some of my friends have remarked that I seem calmer and less frustrated with things. My professional life has never been better! I'm in line for a promotion at work and I am far less anxious each day I'm there.

All of these blessings I can attribute to my decision to stop worrying over things I can't control. There are several hundred LDS girls in my area, 95% of whom are not interested in me, and nothing I can do will ever change that. The other 5% I've dated already and realized that things won't work out. While I may start dating again, it's not on the cards at the moment.

As to what I've taken away from the comments? I've gained a greater testimony of relying upon Christ. He has experienced every pain and disappointment, and I know that through Him I will be lifted up at the last day. Whatever opinions people might have of me, they mean nothing compared to what the Lord thinks of me. He sees me as a glorious being, filled with endless potential. Most importantly, I must be happy with myself. And I am!

Although your counsel hasn't been ultimately successful, it has still been a blessing to have come across your blog. And I LOVE the happy stories that others share. They inspire to be worthy of and ready for more great opportunities.

I'll let you know if anything changes.

Kind regards

- No longer disappointed



Dear No Longer,

I'm glad you're happy.

I'm not certain you followed anything I suggested . . . exactly. I suggested to stop pushing . . . not to swear off dating entirely. As I know you know, life is about balance; when the pendulum swings back the other way, don't let it swing back quite so far.

Remember, "we only lose when we quit".

With best wishes for your continued joy,


- Bro Jo