Dear Bro Jo . . . : 19 And No Boyfriend Yet

Things to know

Regularly read by 50,000+ readers in over 140 countries around the world, "Dear Bro Jo" is published several times a month.

This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, "Dear Bro Jo" is not an LDS Church website. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)

Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.

Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!

Everything here is copyrighted. If you're going to quote any part of anything here, please get Bro Jo's written permission. You can reach him at dearbrojo@gmail.com.

Friday, May 25, 2012

19 And No Boyfriend Yet

Dear Bro Jo,

Hi!

How are you?

Ok so I know I asked you for advice last time and you helped a LOT! But recently I have more thoughts that need advice other than my mother’s. If you don't mind.

I'm 18 turning 19 and I don't have a boyfriend. I have been dating here and there. Recently I realized that almost every guy I went on a date with started to like me and I didn't in return. Yes it was just him and I on the date but I thought oh well we're just friends. So I've been breaking/rejecting hearts :/

I know I told you about that boy that I really liked and that I thought about giving another chance but didn't. He is still getting into trouble and has a new gf so thanks for the advice you saved me!

Anywho I can't seem to find another guy that I liked as much as him. And the really cute guys are either taken or not anywhere near here!

I'm going to attend BYU Idaho in the Fall so I'm still hopeful!

But as of right now WHAT DO I DO? Any advice? I feel like giving up on dating in ALL!

Oh and I do attend the YSA activities!

Sorry it’s long but it’s my recent dilemma& hope you can reply and not get annoyed lol :)

- Name Withheld

Dear Little Sister,

Almost 19, no boyfriend, dating here and there, hasn't found a right guy yet and headed to BYU-I in the Fall?

Don't change a thing.

Not a single thing.

Don't give up, be patient, don't burn any bridges, and keep dating!

- Bro Jo

2 comments:

Anonymous said...: Although as a BUY-Idaho Alumnai, I feel the need to remind her that she shouldn't assume that she'll arrive on campus and be surrounded my males asking her on dates all the time. I'm friendly, out going, and fairly spiritual and only went on... I'd say less than 20 dates in 12 semesters (that's both pre-mission AND post-mission.) It happens fast for some, and not so fast for others!!!; May 25, 2012 at 2:16 PM
Kate said...: Yep, BYU-I doesn't offer boyfriends on the bookstore shelves. Also, don't assume that you NEED a boyfriend. You seem just a little too eager to have a relationship. Be sure that you seriously date a guy because you like him and not because you think you have to/need to have a boyfriend. Or because all your roommates do or the girls in your ward do. That's just dumb.; May 25, 2012 at 3:02 PM

Bro Jo's "Dating Rules for Teens"

General
- Date in groups of 2 or more couples minimum, 3 or more couples is recommended
- Pick Up boys first, then girls; drop off girls first, then boys
- Be clean - literally and spiritually
- Plan must be pre-approved by the Parental Committee
- Borrow a Cell Phone from Parental Committee - for emergency use only
- Only date people your Parents have met (a pre-date meeting may be needed - a movie party at your house is a great way to have Mom and Dad meet all of this year's potential dates!)
- Don't flirt with another person's date - you can go out with them next time - focus on the person you're with
- Remember why you're dating: to get to know someone better, to discover what type of person you like to spend time with, and to practice this important social skill
- First Date is with Opposite Sex parent - prove that you're ready
- Keep the conversation going - spend more time asking questions than talking about yourself
- Focus on your companion - DO NOT TEXT YOUR FRIENDS WHILE OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE - it's rude and, well . . . lame
- No dating the same person twice in a row

Boys
- Home by 11:30pm
- Plan / Pick up / Pay
- Plan communicated to date - no surprises!
- Sisters deserve to go out with decent guys regularly, be one of those guys
- Chivalry isn't dead - show respect by opening doors
- It's scary to call, get over it (practice), it's your job to phone
- Be prepared Boy Scout: make sure the car is clean and has gas, be familiar with where you're going, have enough dough
- Keep dates simple and not too long
- No gifts (keep it casual)
- Meet the parents
- Minimum of one date per month

Girls
- Home by 11pm
- Know what's planned - and pre-communicate that plan to your parents
- Dress Modestly
- Teach your date that you deserve to be respected (make him open doors and insist that he use proper language)
- Don't call boys - make them call you (this is a respect tool)

Exceptions
- Formal Dates (like Prom or a Wedding) can extend the curfew 30 minutes
- Flowers may be an appropriate "gift" for formal occassions

Rules for Parents
- Set the Example (married parents should be dating weekly - if you can, occassionally make that a "Date to the Temple" - if you want your kids to go, they need to see you going - great for married-people dates - Bad Idea for first dates)
- Know your kids' friends, their dates and potential dates
- Communicate Expectations
- Help to Plan Ahead - especially in the beginning
- Discuss the Plan - offer council when asked, but don't take control
- Review the Rules
- Pray
- Don't Spy (if it's your date night too, go somewhere else - and get home before your teen)
- Wait Up - near the door, not in your bedroom
- Debrief - Discuss the date with your teen when they come home, before everyone goes to bed
- Be positive and encouraging
- Don't "arrange" dates for your kids with other parents - if the kids find out it'll be bad

REMEMBER PARENTS - You Water What You Want to Grow! (But too much water and the plant will drown.)

(Check out the "Dear Bro Jo" Fan Page on Facebook for more Great Notes!)

Disclaimer

*This website is not affiliated with the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints, nor does it's author claim to write on behalf of the LDS Church.

for more information on The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints go to: http://www.mormon.org/

"Dear Bro Jo" is an entertainment column, and should not been used as a substitute for Professional Counseling, nor is it intended to replace conversations with one's Bishop or other Priesthood Authority.

All posts and content are the property of Dave Johnston (c) 2009-2013.

Dear Bro Jo . . .

Things to know

Friday, May 25, 2012

19 And No Boyfriend Yet

2 comments:

LDS Rankings

Join us on Facebook!

Become a "Dear Bro Jo" Fan!

Cast Yout Vote!

More Bro Jo Stuff

___

Discovering Greatness

The Discovering Greatness Playbook