Dear Bro Jo,
I really love that your blog answers questions about so many different scenarios!
I just wanted some advice on how to stay positive when things seems to awry. I am at BYU- Idaho and it's my second semester, I'm 18 years old and I've never been kissed, never had a boyfriend, and never liked a boy that liked me. This semester was a little different because I was talking to this boy before the semester started and we had kinda planned out that we were going to go on a few dates once we got to school. Once the semester started, this particular boy stopped talking to me. I don't know why he did this to me because I felt betrayed!
Also I always see him on campus and it's so awkward because we haven't talked in person in a long time. It's hard for me to say something to him without making it more awkward. But he's the same age as me so he's still immature. Later on in the semester I met this other guy in my class that was an RM (a quality I look for) and he was so kind and a fun person. We went on a couple of dates and then he moved to Maryland halfway through the semester... so that was unlucky for me. And he moved before I could actually figure out if he liked me or not. ANYWAYS as you can see I have not had the best luck.
I have just felt so discouraged the past few weeks that I am never going to find a boy who cares about me! Others around me have told me I need to be patient but it's easier said then done.. Also my Mom told me that some of the reason why boys don't talk to me is because I am confident. Also some boys have told me that I am intimidating and that's why they were afraid to talk to me.
My question is what am I doing wrong? How do I make boys like me more without dumbing myself down like some other girls do to get the boy? How do I stay patient and look at the eternal perspective?
-Discouraged and Impatient
Dear D & I.,
I'm not sure that you're doing anything wrong.
If you haven't already, you could check out:
Bro Jo's "HOW a GIRL CAN GET a BOY'S ATTENTION"
Bro Jo’s TEN WAYS a GIRL CAN GET a GUY to CALL
and
Bro Jo's "HOW a GIRL CAN GET a GUY to ASK HER on a DATE"
Patience is something easier discussed than lived (Believe Me!) but what you CAN do is look for things that make it easier for the time to go by . . . namely . . . service.
I know, I know . . . you ARE serving others . . . and that's great!
Don't stop.
Service will make you feel better, help the time go by, and put you on the radar of Good Guys looking for Great Girls, just like you!
With all due respect to Mom, confidence is attractive, and believe me, the boys that are intimidated are not the ones you want to go out with (or wait around for) anyway. So don't put your confidence away.
Use it. Use your confidence to help you go up and introduce yourself to more people. Not just "hot guys" (certainly that), but widen your circle of friends. Most people at your school are single; the more people you know, the more likely you'll meet those that would like to date you. Heck, you'll also meet sisters who will think "I should set you up with this guy", and that's good, too!
Stay Positive!
- Bro Jo
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