Speed Dating

Dear Bro Jo,

I'm a student at BYU-I, this is my third semester here and I have yet to be asked on a date. I model makeup during the times I'm home so I'm not unattractive. I'm positive and super outgoing I'm not scared to introduce myself to random people. I'm thinking maybe my problem is I just can't flirt. Can you give me advice on how to flirt or just get a Mormon guys attention? I would really rather not blatantly ask men to go out with me; I like men who are "manly" enough to ask me. I would also appreciate if you would tell me if maybe there was something else wrong with me that could be hindering my progress here.

Thanks so much,

Dateless at BYU-I DO


Dear Dateless,

I have no idea what may be wrong with you, for all I know it’s LOTS of things!

If what you need are some flirting tips, I suggest that you look through the many letters I’ve written on how to flirt (see the topics list to the right). There are several things a girl can do, such as: making eye contact, talking to guys about themselves, sitting close, and touching guys on the hand or arm while you’re speaking to them.

Now I don’t know if this is your problem, but you don’t mention in your letter that you’re active in your Ward and other social circles. If you want guys to ask you out you can’t just sit at home waiting for the phone to ring. Go to dances, attend all your Church meetings, go to all the YSA Activities you can.

Become involved in committees and make plans.

Guys can’t ask you out if they never meet you.

Here’s one great way to jump-start dating in your Ward and Stake: Speed Dating. Ever see the movie “Hitch”?

Finger foods and long tables with lots of chairs are all you need. Guys sit opposite girls. Each talks for 3-5 minutes. If there’s the slightest interest, guys get phone numbers. If not, no harm no-foul. Ring the bell and guys move to the next chair.
Great way to meet lots of new people in a short period of time. Maybe in your Stake it should be a monthly or quarterly activity.

- Bro Jo