[Readers: The following comment was left on a recent column. I've decided to post it also as a separate column, and also on the Facebook Discussion Page, which you can get to HERE]
I know that you said that 19 is not too young for an LDS woman to get married, but what about 18?
Dear Annon,
Clearly I should Clarify.
I think there are many factors at play when we discuss the concept of "too young" to get married; I've known people in their mid 20's, even their mid 30's, who just aren't spiritually mature enough that I'd say they're ready to be married (I'll bet we all know some of those).
Now, even if you "think" you're ready, you're never really "totally ready", but that's a bit different . . .
18 too young? At this time in history? I'd say: "yeah, typically", but not always.
If a couple is emotionally and spiritually ready to make that level of eternal commitment, once a proposal is out there, and the Temple is the Target, I'd rather see them get married soon than wait through a year of temptation just because of a birthday.
I like to ask couples this question: "Are you ready to have children, or are you just eager to have sex?"
(Regardless of what society and the "safe sex" crowd are teaching our youth, regardless of the impressions many have, there's No Such Thing as 100% Sure Birth Control other than Abstinence)
And if they say "we want to start a family" I ask "what will you do to support your children spiritually and temporally?"
As they answer those questions, together, I believe a couple will discover for themselves whether or not they're "ready".
- Bro Jo
[see the original letter HERE]
Speaking of dating, how old is your oldest son there in the picture? haha;)
ReplyDeleteCrew, black hair up front, is my oldest. He was 14 in the picture (he has a late summer birthday) - he turns 17 next month. He's Junior Class President, an honor student, eagle scout, and varsity middle linebacker. He wrestled at 160 lbs. in the State Tournament last year.
ReplyDeleteReef, the redhead on the left (my right) was 13 (a fall birthday). He'll be 16 in November. Also on student council and working on completing his Eagle Project, he's funny, confident, and a phenomenal artist and story teller. He wrestles and plays football, too.
Both can be found on Facebook.
The other boys are too young.
;)
Thanks for the kind words and giving a father an excuse to brag a little.
- Bro Jo
Bro Jo-
ReplyDeleteI'm curious and you might want to move this comment somewhere else but what do you think about birth control? I've read a article by Spencer W. Kimball saying that we shouldn't put off having kids and putting education and jobs in front of it. But what if your living in your parents house ( so so SO many cases of this) newly married and don't want to take birth control of any sorts? to me i find that EXTREMELY careless. Think about your situation your in and if you want to raise a baby at your parents house.
What are your thoughts?
It's a fair question, Kort, and you're right: I'm moving it to it's own column, which will post in just a couple days.
ReplyDeleteOnce it's up, I'll add the link to it here.
Readers, in the interest of organization, please save your Birth Control comments for posting on that column's page.
- Bro Jo