Coworkers and Pre-Mi's

Dear Bro Jo,

My friend showed me your Facebook notes on How a Girl Can Get a Guy To Ask Her Out On a Date, and I have a question concerning my "predicament".

I'm interested in one of my LDS coworkers who will be turning 19 in a few months and thus going on a mission soon; all he has left to do is get his physical. I've worked with him three summers in a row (I go to a college out of state), so we know each other fairly well. He's very excited about serving a mission and talks about it frequently; he's even saved up the $10,000
needed for a mission all by himself. Basically, he's a Good Guy, and I'd like to get to know him better outside of work.

However, he doesn't have his driver's license yet. He's hoping to get it next month, and he's
said that he would ask more girls out on dates if he had his license. Him and I live on opposite sides of town, so if I did use your Tips and got him to ask me out, he wouldn't be able to pick me up. I would have to drive. Do you think that would be ok, or should I just wait until he gets his license?

Also, obviously there is the rejection possibility. I'm worried if that happens, things will get awkward at work.

And I know I'm at the age where I'm supposed to be looking for a potential spouse. Am I wasting my time by liking (and/or possibly "pursuing") someone who I can't become serious with for at least two years?

I'm kind of back-tracking now, but maybe I should just instead ask him to hang out with a group of friends? I guess I'm not sure what I should do; I've never liked a coworker before, simply because.....I work with them. Which I'm sure sounds lame, but it makes sense in my head. Should I take into consideration that he's never asked me to hang out at all these past three summers?

Does it matter?

AGH! I better stop before I plunge into more questions.

Your advice would be greatly appreciated!

- Red


Dear Red,

There's nothing wrong with liking a co-worker. For many people work is the place where you're most likely to meet someone.

However, because of lawsuits and other things, many work places have disclosure rules or no dating policies. Everyone should know what those policies are at their place of employment.

I'd hate to see you lose the good job you've had for the last three years because you wasted your time with some pre-mi . . .

And that's what dating a guy this close to a mission would be: a waste of time. (Although how he can be that close and not have a driver's license escapes me . . . )

If he asks you out, by all means go. Let him worry about the planning and transportation - that's his job, not yours.

You can hint that you'd like him to ask: "well, here's my phone number; if you ever figure out how to date a girl pre-license, or ever actually get one, call me".

And leave it at that.

Any more and you'll compromise your integrity and long-term desire ability by taking away the challenge. Plant the seed, but make guys grow and harvest their own gardens.

And do both he and you a favor: date or no date, don't even THINK of becoming this guy's Girlfriend unless he's returned (preferably honorably) and you just happen to not be married or engaged yet.

Too many other wonderful people out there for either of you to wait.


- Bro Jo