When He Doesn't Know You Exist

Dear Bro Jo,

Today, I was on Facebook and saw an ad on the side of the site that was for LDS teen advice. Curious, I clicked on it and it lead me to your "Dear Bro Jo" blog. I was reading through your posts, and let me say that it is truly a blessing that I found your site because I feel you will be able to give me some great advice on a problem that I have had for a little while now.

I am a 15 year old Mormon girl, but I will be turning 16 in a few months. I just finished my freshman year in high school and will now be a sophomore. This guy that I will be telling you about just finished sophomore year, and will be a junior.

Let's call this guy “Moroni”.

He is the perfect Mormon boy; however, he is not in my ward. Just in my stake. He goes to my same high school though.

Moroni is amazingly good looking, a genius who was taking college classes as a sophomore in high school, very athletic, and tall! I really don't know what I should do about it.

I want to get to know him so bad, but I don't know anything that I can do to get him to notice me or how to become friends with him. I don't have any friends who know him who could introduce me, so I have no idea what to do. I am not bold enough to go up and just say 'Hi' to him because I feel he will see that as a random stranger coming up and talking to him.

Another problem is that school just got out and it is now summer break. I don't know of any upcoming stake activities or anything where I will be able to see him. But he seems like such the perfect guy, and I REALLY want to be his friend, and then possibly date him when I am 16.

Any suggestions?

~Helpless



Dear Helpless,

Let me get this straight: you've found the "perfect guy", you've never met him, never even talked to him, have no hope of seeing him again anytime soon, and are too shy to make a move, but you think I can help you get to know him better?!?

That's a pretty tall order!

But, yeah, I can help.

Or rather, I can help you help yourself.

And that's what it’s going to take: you're going to have to do some work, a lot actually; otherwise . . . forget it.

But what you CAN do is create opportunities.

No Stake Dances planned this summer?

Plan one.

(Or two.)

Have monthly video parties at your house and make a deal with a guy that if he invites your dream man you'll invite two girls the he likes.

Have a multi-ward etiquette dinner, and invite Perfect Guy's Ward.

Find out where he works. If it’s appropriate and not too stalker-y, go by there with a friend and casually say hello.

Ask a girl in his ward about him. Nothing to probing, just ask if he has a girlfriend. If he doesn't, then ask if he goes out on Casual Group Dates. Then say nothing more than "thank you". Trust me; she'll do the rest.

If you're not willing to do the work, the only other thing I can do is call him for you.

"Hey, is this Perfect Guy? Yeah, this is Bro Jo. That's right, the guy from the advice column. Anyway, there's this girl out there that likes you; she asked me to call. No, I don't really know he either . . . You're right: that is a little weird . . ."

It'd never work.


Try the other stuff instead.

And let us all know how it went, will ya?


- Bro Jo