Follow Up - Dating a Pregnant Girl - Part 2

[Readers - This is Part 2 of a letter that was published on October 4th. You can read the original by clicking HERE.]


Bro Jo,

A couple of months I ago I asked you for advice on a situation with me dating a girl who was pregnant. Well She had the baby and it was adopted. It's been almost 2 months since. I still really like this girl, and she likes me. We've been dating for a few weeks now... We've set solid boundaries physically. I'm trying to stay close to the spirit and pray about this all the time. So far, I haven't felt uneasy or discouraged about the way things are moving. But let's face it, I'm in this relationship and probably have rose colored glasses and all that.

What do you think brojo? Should I go for this? Am I nuts? I'm not worried about being patient, because If this thing works I feel like I'll probably need alot of patience.

Just wondering what your thoughts are and what advice you can give me.

Thanks,

Smitten



Dear Smitten,

If the only thing wrong with this girl is that she made a big mistake 11 months ago, I don't see that as a reason to right her off. I'm sensing from you that she's repentant, working on being temple worthy, and that you're both staying out of trouble. As long as that's an accurate description, I don't think you're nuts at all.

The only advice I have for you at this point is to take things a little slow, enjoy your time together. Get to know her better now that you're both adults.

If things start to get more serious you'll have to have a conversation (or perhaps several conversations) about how to deal with all of that as a married couple, perhaps married with children. My advice there is to shut up about the whole thing. Whether it's this woman or someone else, you need to cultivate an atmosphere of respect for your wife, for the mother of your children. Never, NEVER bring up her faults, past or present, in front of others. There are people, in and out of the Church, that try to ingratiate themselves with their children by confessing past sins to them. I don't know, maybe they think it makes them cool . . . . It's a huge mistake.

If you have a close friend, parent or sibling that knows you both and that you can trust to give you advice with your best interest at heart, ask them. But so far I think you're on the right track.

You're right to be patient,

- Bro Jo